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Why Some People Reject Their Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Diagnosis

Why Some People Reject Their Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Diagnosis

many people who get diagnosed with borderline personality disorder end up denying their diagnosis or just don't talk about it altogether and why is that that's exactly what we're gonna be talking about in this video because it's the last day of mental health awareness month what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired saw where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel what I like to do typically I look at different topics going on in the YouTube community or pop culture and trying to see what lessons we can learn from them but I'm very big on mental health as well so if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe and bring that notification bow and why you add it make sure you follow me over on Instagram and Twitter after we wired souls so I can interact with all of you beautiful people out there I'll make announcements and all sorts of other cool stuff alright but anyways this this video this idea for this video has been in my head for a while I was recently reading a book called the Buddha and the borderline if any of you are interested in borderline personality disorder or if you've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder you want an excellent book that goes through this young woman's journey of being diagnosed as well as her recovery I cannot recommend this book enough it'll be linked down in the description below but anyways one of the parts is stuck out to me was how she was talking about you know her interactions with people and other people who were diagnosed and rejected that diagnosis all right so before I move forward full disclaimer for those of you who don't know me know I'm not a licensed therapist or psychologist I am just very nerdy when it comes to mental health and psychology and all those other things so I like to put my knowledge out here on YouTube to hopefully educate some people and maybe it'll help you understand your disorder a little bit more or it'll help you understand somebody else who is struggling with this disorder alright so first question is what is borderline personality disorder alright you might have heard of it but maybe you don't know the symptoms so here is a little summary of the symptoms as stated in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual if you don't know what that is the dsm-5 basically the guidelines that medical professionals mental health professionals use to see what your diagnosis might be now this isn't like a 1000% for sure thing when they diagnosed you but it gives them kind of an idea of what you're struggling with mentally so they can offer you the best treatment possible and check it out I actually got my copy right here all right so I'm gonna go through these real quick all right one frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment to a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of ovulation and devaluation 3 identity disturbance markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self for impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self damaging this can include spending money sex substance abuse reckless driving binge eating etc 5 recurrent suicidal behavior gestures for threats or self-mutilating behavior sis affective instability due to a mark reactivity of mood 7 chronic feelings of emptiness 8 inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling anger 9 transient stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms all right so these are the symptoms and if you're somebody who struggles with this or you know somebody who does like one of the main main main symptoms of this is emotional dysregulation alright I often think about it like on a scale like if you have zero in the middle and then you got plus 10 and minus 10 most people don't waver between like you know 1 to 5 right like you know you might get like really angry but that's act of 5 but for people struggling with borderline personality disorder that anger might be like furious you see what I mean or like not just getting happy but really excited we're not just feeling like kind of sad it's depressed not feeling nervous it's anxious right I'm gonna combine that with like fear of abandonment and everything like that so why do people deny or reject this diagnosis well something that was brought up in the book and I've seen this happen many many many times like when I was working at the drug and alcohol rehab center for a little over three years I dealt with many clients who had borderline personality disorder and one of the main reasons was because their their family and friends there are a lot of misconceptions and myths about borderline personality disorder like one of them one of the biggest ones is that those people are extremely manipulative right and the thing is it is not intentional okay like the manipulation is not intentional like their fear of abandonment like it said in the DSM it's real or imagined so that person might do anything they can to keep you around because they are lacking this emotional control you see what I mean so it is not always intentional and that's one of the things like there's such a stigma around it there's people some people see that and I think that is intentional but most people who struggle from my experience that I've met who struggle with borderline personality disorder they hate that they hate that they do that they hate that there's a self-sabotage or these anger outbursts and things like that but the other thing that I ran into a lot when talking with clients who struggle with borderline personality disorder was a lot of therapists and even psychiatrists didn't want to work with them alright like I remember working at a treatment center and people would be like oh Chris like here like you want to work with them like I don't like working with people with BPD and I just never really mind it I haven't had any I don't know my threshold is probably pretty high but I haven't had any like crazy experiences you know what I mean but when I would see like therapists and stuff saying they didn't want to work with somebody I'm like huh right but I think in that book the Buddha and the borderline they when they discussed it like they was talking about like how she like when she went to tell her mom like she went to tell her mom how she was diagnosed she was finally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder like she was misdiagnosed with like depression anxiety bipolar bipolar and borderline personality disorder sometimes those get misdiagnosed but she goes and tells her mom her mom's like oh no no no no you don't have that you do not have borderline personality disorder borderline personality disorder is for crazy people right so that can make a person feel very very insecure right especially when people classify people at BPD that's crazy you know what I mean so it's quite common for people to deny or reject their diagnosis now I've made a video in the past I know who Kati Morton who was an actual licensed Marriage and Family Therapist you know on the platform she has a video about the differences between C PTSD and borderline personality disorder but they are very very similar especially because many people who get diagnosed with borderline personality disorder had some type of childhood trauma alright but here's the thing here's the thing that is my personal view my personal opinion on it based on people I've met who have borderline personality disorder and are working on overcoming it or they are in recovery and it's this once you accept this diagnosis like the whole reason this book exists is because once they can kind of figure out what your diagnosis is now you can begin treatment so one of the best therapies one of the best therapies for borderline personality disorder is something called dialectical behavior therapy alright DBT for short now traditional DBT like there are like groups like you do like I can't remember if it's like a six to eight-week kind of group slash course right and you learn a bunch of different techniques for managing your emotion right and then you're surrounded with other people like if you're interested in learning more about dialectical behavioral therapy the woman in that book she went through DBT alright but DBT although the reason it's called the Buddha and the borderlines because DBT a lot of it is based off of mindfulness which comes from Buddhist philosophy all right mindfulness is something that I've been practicing for probably about five or six years now which is really helped me regulate my emotions and things like that so I have reaped the benefits myself because I used to have a lot of problems with emotional regulation alright because it helps you stop and have that pause button a lot of people who struggle what BPD have this in these impulsive behaviors and they lash out or they do something reckless you know so it is important to kind of manage those things so if you cannot afford therapy what I would recommend there are like a million a million DBT workbooks out there I'll link one of them down below like one of my favorite ones it's like mindfulness for borderline personality disorder something like that I'll link it down in the description below but if you cannot afford therapy like do something just do something because you can't begin to get better while your your BPD may never be completely cured life can get exponentially better but if you have the resources like if you have health insurance talk to your doctor tacky or in church provider talk to friends or family see if they can recommend a therapist for you who specializes in dialectical behavioral therapy I personally use better help online therapy and they have certain therapists who specialize in DBT so if you would like to check that out there was an affiliate link down below basically what that means you get a cheap affordable online therapy and a little bit comes back that supports the channel alright but just know that this isn't without hope and once you accept your diagnosis now you can begin working on it alright but anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and bring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you're all amazing and by the way before I let you go don't forget to follow me on Instagram and Twitter at the rewired soul alright thanks again so so much for watching I'll see you next time

29 thoughts on “Why Some People Reject Their Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Diagnosis

  1. Books:

    The Buddha and the Borderline: https://amzn.to/2QBwTmr

    Mindfulness for BPD: https://amzn.to/2QBC9qg

    DBT Workbook: https://amzn.to/2EMhdrY

    Try the online therapy app I personally use for my mental health: https://tryonlinetherapy.com/rewiredsoul

    (Using this link helps support the channel)

  2. Yes, yes, yes! IMO there are a few reasons for borderlines denying that they have BPD. First, they lack insight (anosognosia) more than the typical person. Second, even when directly confronted with the possibility, given their extreme hypersensitivity, negative self-worth, etc, it's just too painful to admit/accept they have a personality disorder.

  3. I push people away because I don't like being around people because of my experiences of maltreatment abuse and bullying but at the same time I'm terrified of abandonment and yes I have been have been abandoned by my dad my diagnosis was bpd ptsd depression and anxiety

  4. hey there, no offence but your eye keep looking yellow and dark. this is a sign that you are very dehydrated and malnourished. ♡ get better k!

  5. Thank you for talking about bpd in such a nonjudgmental way .👍I wounder if ppl with BPD will hesitate to get help when they hear that mentalhealth providers don't want to work with ppl with BPD ? Heard this a on a couple of channels .
    Ot 💙 the t-shirt !

  6. ha… so related to my other comment but thought i'd do a new one… okay so it does confuse me when you mention cPTSD and BPD are similar and misdiagnosed or confuse for each other and i've heard that before but I was always told by the psych who diagnosed me that it was cPTSD with BPD, but is that wrong/or not true because they overlap so much perhaps? and is it more one of the other, as I mean that would make more sense to me as they are so similar but are also so different for other things too which is why I was diagnosed with both but now I'm curious. I'll definitely have to bring this up with my new psych I am seeing soon.a

    Also damn so relate to her mum's reaction XD, i'm going to have to buy and read this book as just having a good BPD book is great to hear of and i need it lol.

    As always great work and thank you for bring up such important topics and to help destroy the bad stigmas and help people learn something along the way too ^.^

  7. I’m borderline and it’s so nice to hear someone talk about it. I’ve been turned down by many therapists because of it and it’s very disheartening when someone says they don’t want to or can’t work with you

  8. Dayum haven't watched yet but not even subscribed long and you bring up BPD and a huge issue i see with it. And i love that you are because it's barely ever spoken about but is such a huge issue when you have it and i can't count how many times people say to me BPD is bipolar XD. Ironically my parents still reject the diagnosis tho as they're the cause (which i don't blame them for anymore but i get it's hard to accept as parents)
    But also there is a HUGE stigma with it and the symptoms it creates though and i find a lot people misread my 'why's' as in why i read into someone being annoyed and i panic thinking it's me that's caused it and that whirl wind which comes off as self centred but it's the opposite and my psychs say thats one of my hugest flaws caused by it is that i put people so above myself i put myself in abusive situations and so hard to break that
    … though also when i was diagnosed I was told it was missed because I have '''quiet BPD" and not ''typical BPD'' and it's confusing as some research says yes there's two types and others no and was wondering if maybe you had heard of it being either way?
    but my bpd diagnosis was a godsent to me because it helped me understand a lot but also lead to later diagnosis of cPTSD because they wanted to know the BPD cause/root (not that anyone wants any of them but hopefully people get what i mean in the relief of knowing why your brain is funky to help it)… alright okay I'll stop rambling now and go watch and then come back here to edit if I got thoughts on the vid further >.>

  9. I have bpd and it’s the shits! But thank you so much for touching on the manipulation subject, it hurts when people accuse you of manipulating them when it was never your intention. It usually is an act of sheer desperation. I have found myself villainized and often called crazy. Now I just accept it and say yeah I am a little crazy, half joking, half not. But I just started group DBT, it’s a 20 week program, and also switched my meds up. Hopefully a step in the right direction!

  10. I’ve heard awesome things about DBT. It’s been popping up in my realm lately. I’ll check out the link. Thanks!

  11. My doctors hid my diagnosis from me for years. They told me it was bipolar but wrote down BPD in my file. When I found out I refused to accept it. Other people joined in too telling me that BPD sounded like a made up disorder and that my doctors sounded crazy. There was even a doctor I had that said BPD wasn't a real disorder or diagnosis, so I shouldn't worry about it. It was all really confusing. I'm doing a lot better now though. I bought myself a DBT book and started meditating and it's helped a lot.

  12. I remember being sooooo mad when I was diagnosed. I also remember trying to research it and finding only videos and articles about how evil it makes us. Then I remember crying and hating my diagnosis. It took a lot for me to start to accept my diagnosis, a process that I'm still working on now.

  13. In 2019, it is still shameful to admit that you have mental health problems. If you are dx with BPD, because even therapists hate to work with these individuals, it is especially shameful.

  14. I am so happy I challenged my BPD diagnosis. It was given to me, several years ago, by a doctor who sat with me for 10 min. He put me on several medications that caused me to attempt suicide and feel suicidal for the first time in my life. 2 years of hell, and new changes in doctors..I was re diagnosed with Complex PTSD which is, unfortunately is misdiagnosis as BPD too often. I have, since then, seen 7 different professionals who have agreed with the CPTSD. I am now being treated for that, and off the medication and my life has gotten so much better! I can finally stop the dissociation, emotional regulation, triggering thoughts, anxiety and nightmares. I do EMDR therapy. I lacked the impulsive behavior and manipulative behavior, which is part of BPD.

  15. Sent this to my mum to Try to get her to understand the diagnosis. She never believed I had it. Thank you for the video xx

  16. Thanks Chris for making another great informative video on BPD and DBT! When I was first diagnosed they just said "you have bpd" and didn't offer any help… I was spiraling so far down at that point, cutting, trying to kill myself, unsafe sexual practices, very bad impulsive decisions. …what helped me was ended up so low that I was able to hear my friends when they said I needed help…and I went inpatient for 2 weeks. That's where I learned about DBT and mindfulness. I started in a therapist run DBT group after I got out and it forever changed my life. I still use the papers I got from that group to help guide me in my hard times. There will ALWAYS be hard times. But once you learn the DBT tools, the hard times are far less and not nearly as wicked as they once were. It's easier to come back to your new baseline again.

  17. I think this is a good topic because as much as I try research I have never heard much about BPD you hear about it but not about the symptoms. Also, you usually only hear about BPD is if someone does something criminal and happens to have Borderline Personality. Since I don’t think most ppl with this diagnosis are dangerous, I don’t think this get the attention it should. I think it’s a diagnosis that definitely needs more awareness. Great job 👍❤️🙏✌️🙂

  18. It’s a tough diagnosis. I have done a lot of work on myself but I still struggle. I will tell strangers on the internet and people I’m close to. But I feel shame and grief. And what could I have been without this cursed bpd? And then people like my mom read up on it and try to tell me my feelings. And that stings.

  19. I can't imagine ever being in denial about mine. I think it is important to know why you may behave in certain ways that others would call not normal. Once you accept something, it makes it easier to deal with

  20. That's what happened in the Tyler Perry movie Acrimony. I recommend it. It's not his best work but she displays all the symptoms of someone with BPD & when it's brought up to her she gets ticked off & storms off.

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