I have no idea what she’s going on about. It’s so sad. I’m never gonna get a mobile sponsor now. but so true hey uhh excuse me you er uh- have you heard of YouTooz by any chance? I don’t care I pissed my pants twice today That’s right guys I now have my Exclusive vinyl figure on sale now. Simply go to youtooz.com to go and get yourself one. They usually sell out in a day, you know, resold for double the price?? You’re sad enough to do that, man. They’re made up of high quality vinyl and they’re shatter resistant. Trust me, I’ve tried They do cost $30.00, but that’s because they’re made from the most premium, high-quality, sweatshop workers… who want to make YOU happy Plus, they’ve free international shipping. and if you want me to be serious for a second, it really does help me make better content. Sony (of California) has taken many fat stacks of cash since they claimed all my old videos So making high-quality content is just not… incentivizing for me at the minute. So if you want to see possible videos, you know… THAT video. THAT one, you could buy one now. Seriously. Buy one. I want your money. Give me your money. NOW! (Free royalty scream) Mobile games. The favorite pastime of any boomer or seven-year-old. Why put time and dedication into an actual video game (shown on the left is Farming Sim boundary breaking), when you can just write your brain by playing match three games all day? but mobile advertisers want to grow their audience, and their market, so they have released some of the most- clickbait, downright lying advertisements for their games I have ever seen.
(shoutout to Orange9098 for said video featured) but mobile advertisers want a hook in more people, so they have came up with the most “”Ingenious”” advertisements I have ever seen for example: (multiple BRUHs follow)
Truly the best game you can play when on the toilet. and who can forget: [see you after the one or two ads]
[also please download grammarly of tanks/warships becuase they’re more relevant than minecraft, youtube needs that ad money] the Noob (new pyro) and Pro (slightly old pyro) comparisons, Where the noob is literally throwing away his money but somehow- still generating income.
(shoutout to i3Stars for footage of said ad) I think the best thing is the disconnect between the advertising department (potrayed here as a cursed image) and just- Humans in general. Like, for example this ad here (for Tank Stars), that has a girl trying to lead a line to wear a tank shell goes, but it’s very obvious the tank shell line has already been drawn out and she’s trying to horrendously copy where it’s gonna go she just gives up halfway through but keeps going anyway. oh, fucking- that’s so bad. It’s so obvious that she’s mimicking and that’s what I love about mobile ads. They’re amazing because they have no quality control whatsoever. Now, like the last video I made on this (which had no sound for some reason), I wanted to cover some mobile games that the ads are just so obviously faked and fabricated that the final product could not measure up in comparison. So we watch an ad, I’ll download the game, and actually try the game and complain about it. Content for you, content for me. Hopefully it’ll be over ten minutes. But before we start I still want to pick apart some other ads like for example you’ve got this one that is a sniper game. They just straight up stole footage from Far Cry 5 very funy/ patrick wow dog, those graphics were good. Is that new iPhone bro? wow by the way this is the final product. (go play Hitman Sniper instead) This is the game that was being advertised. bro, y u run in low settings? now one game I just really want to try and am so excited for and pretty much the entire reason I made this follow-up video. There’s this little game. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, called “Lily’s Garden”. (Mario Kart DS Title Screen theme plays for a short while) Have you heard of it? Of course you haven’t. No one heard of it. Till they dropped this horrendous advert. *pyro dies of cringe* It’s so sad but so true. No, I did not cut the video early, that is the entire advert. It actually got memed so bad at Twitter that the people behind the game had to re-cut the trailer and release it to make it more family-friendly?? Unexpected item in bagging area. B R U H bruh oh- WHAT She jebaited him! epic apparently that fixed the issue. the guy’s still a scumbag, but the woman was just testing him So with a game containing so much lies and deceit, I just had to see what all the hubbub was about with- Ermii Kart DS Legacy Edition Right, so I see Lily’s garden. Already, She’s with another gentleman. That’s great. what? a- I got it to open. This is epic If there’s not a divorce in the first five minutes, I’m not going to be happy. Yes! There is! THERE IS! Y E S this will get five (GTA wanted) stars on the App Store. That’s so sad! oh cringe *pyro wonders what’s his life gotten into till this point* That’s epic! Making money off a deceased family member. (more like passing down inheritance to good use) Okay, this is epic so when do I get a gun? I know it’s the voice-acting already starts They clearly ran out of budget guys. You know what’s great about this series? I’m never gonna get a mobile sponsor now I- I actually got a fair amount. They were just stopped emailing me as soon as I uploaded the first bad mobile games video. I have never been more alone. I have NOTHING! Don’t tell me to match three don’t you da- is every mobile game Bejeweled? Oh my God.
[go play mobile legends bang bang because it’s probably the next two ads here] Oh, no, it’s Toy Blast. That’s fine. Is this it? This is the- this is the entire game, isn’t it? Wow, I can match three upwards and downwards. okay guys, I might actually put some time into this game. It’s been 84 years I got 50 quid for matching some tiles. So she needed to play a match three game… To fix her mailbox. Which one are we gonna go for? The one that looks really gothic. Let’s go for that one. I just want this mansion to look absolutely terrible. Don’t care! Oh, let’s check on the bees, guys. Hopefully we get a bee sting and die in the first 10 minutes. Let’s tidy up the area. How are we gonna do that? Is it gonna be a minigame where we sweep up the leaves and maybe plant some new bushes? Or is it gonna be a match three mini-game? Let’s find out. Yeah, this game sucks. I don’t know why so many mobile games do this. They actually look enticing and then it’s just a match-three game. It’s almost like they are trying to save money. Audiojungle! (M O N E Y) Now another game I’m really keen to try is called “Polysphere”. The game itself seems competent but it has the worst ads I’ve ever seen. Basically the goal from what I gather you get a bunch of shapes and you need to spin it out at a certain angle so it makes like a big shape. Now, that doesn’t sound very interesting does it? and I’m sure the marketing team understood that saying that it isn’t marketable So firstly when they had the advertisements, they had a guy eating corn off a drill in the background. *giggles at the corn drill footage* What does that even mean? What are you asking me to do? and then they tried to one-up themselves by having an abusive ex shout at you and text you while the ad is playing. hahaha, you think you can just- We can’t say “suck” cuz then- then it wouldn’t be advertiser friendly. -and then just dispose of me like a battery? your mind, Josh. Not your girlfriend’s, not God’s, your mind Josh ono said you’re gonna piss your pants maybe I have no idea what she’s going on about but I’m really happy to hear that people that did the voice acting in Resident Evil 1 are still finding work. That was too close! You were almost an Audiojungle! (Jill Sandwich) So now to make things worse, they just straight up stealing gameplay from people that were stupid enough to download and play this. So, the company will nab your footage and stick it in their ads without any kind of shout-out or royalties. Abram SF: The fact that there is now an ad on YouTube that is using my Polysphere video- we’re playing in poly sphere to your screen right now, and look, we have diamonds -and they’re telling me this ad actually put out by Playgendary, they selected- you know, just take people’s content use it for their ads I just find it ironic that a company stealing people’s work is called Playgendary. Anyway, let’s get Polysphere a go. not designed for children What that’s cringe! but I’m a child Yeah. Free games, they suck bro, right? I meant to be picking people that review the game and they’re genuinely saying it’s bad, but you people are idiots. I’m really scared to hear that it’s not designed for children. There might be some jumpscares guys, I’m about to put a warning in. Oh y- you gotta pay for this? Oh, no, you don’t, ok. I was- I was worried that I had to put money into a video. Oh god, this one looks hard.. Jesus Christ. Like, I was actually on that for about five hours. I just cut the footage down. That was so hard, guys. Jesus. I- *tries to compose himself* [we will now interrupt your program with free apps and services Google thinks you’re interested] I don’t know how people can do this, man. What’s this like, a watermelon? okay fine Maybe the game is a bit difficult, okay? Maybe I do need some help. I pressed help and it takes me to another mobile game to download. Is that the help? It’s- it’s sto- I can’t go back. I can’t go back HOW IS THIS HELP? YOU’RE JUST MAKING ME PLAY- You know what? that’s a terrible app. the help just makes you install another game. now moving on, I found these truly epic mobile ads. and they have more branching stories and narratives than any Telltale games. Firstly, what does any of that have to do with Gardenscapes? And secondly, was that woman screaming the same scream they used for the witch from Left 4 Dead? Exhibit A: infringing property Exhibit B: the actual sound byte they stole Right, so this seems like a game that has real stakes and tensions, people’s lives are at stake. And if you don’t save them this perma death and it- it permanently impacts the story. man tied to the bed will remember this This honestly sounds really interesting. I’ve just got to go ahead and dow- Oh my god not designed for children So this one actually does have a high app rating, either the game is genuinely good, or they hired a bunch of Russian bots. Right. Apparently, I cannot even play the game because I lost internet connection. Overall… This is actually the least painful experience I’ve had out of all these apps so far. So this gets a 10 out of 10 I do want to go into YouTube though and look at some Gardenscapes gameplay ju- just to see what I’m missing out on. Wait, hold up Is this a guy who got a letter from a relative and he’s gone to a dilapidated mansion and he needs to fix the mansion and the only way he can fix the mansion is by playing match 3 games? Why’d you steal from Mario Kart Zero? (actually Lily’s Garden stole Homescapes/Gardenscapes plot tbh) I-I-It’s amazing how like unimaginative mobile developers are. Someone will come up with a breakthrough concept and then 50,000 people copy that concept. good now girl. I see you tomorrow Now another kind of weird mobile ad I’m seeing is the stories that are connected by words. So, you’ll see like an event play out like a woman losing her job or someone trying to escape prison- and they’ll match words together and if they get the word correct, they’ll get the item they spell out and they’re able to progress the story. I was gonna play one of these games, But there’s no point because you look up gameplay online and they just put you in a blank room and you’re meant to just- guess the words. It’s basically the boring bit of the ads and that’s the entire game. Also, did I fail to mention that some mobile games can be quite, uh… Sexual? like this one called puppy puzzle and the ad is just a guy shaking his phone to well, uh.. to do this? you’ve also got this one (for Girls x Battle) as well where like at a teacher or a parent You can punish her or let her go and then at the bottom it’s [home banner ad] Now one more I did actually wanna download and try there seems to be this epidemic of palm reader apps. These are apps where the camera scans your palm and then it tells you super interesting things about you. For example, you’ve got this ad here: Married at 32, you’ll have two children, and you’ll live 87 years. That’s so epic, that modern technology does not know our time-of-death but a palm reader knows. Now, there’s a lot of palm reader apps as you can tell. I tried to find this one called Fortunescope. There is one called that, but I don’t like how some of the words are capitalized. I feel that this is like a mock app. I don’t know what kind of like Chinese Money-laundering scheme, I’m gonna get hooked into here. Oh, no, it’s the same app. They probably just changed it. That’s so cool. Y e s Yes. God. Yes. I’m ready. Hold up b r u h I’m just gonna do my own palm reading. I don’t need none of this. By this palm… I will live to 300. I will get a quarter of a 40 million subscribers in the next week and Morgz’ Mom will never overtake my channel. Anyways bros, I hope you’ll enjoyed this. was truly an epic video. Don’t forget as well: my YooTooz are now available to buy go in the link down the description to get yourself one They’re gonna be gone in about 20 hours so do yourself a favor go buy one and then you can resell out on eBay for triple the price PROFIT!! It’s- It’s like Bitcoin, but everyone wins. stop- stop making mobile games. Stop it. CC by stefan5035’s alt account