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Ted Cruz Campaign Ad

Ted Cruz Campaign Ad

[VOICEOVER:] Strong. Informed. Fundamental. Meet Ted Cruz, America’s next President. Ted is the sensible choice for American families,
with American values. If elected, Ted Cruz would reinforce American
family valu– American values. American Eagle. American,
apple pie and baseball, values. American values. [EXHALES] [V.O.:] He would also eliminate the I.R.S….
somehow. Ted Cruz oversees N.A.S.A., but only sexy
outer-space N.A.S.A., not the research done on quote unquote “climate
change,” which is a myth scientists made up for fun. One time, Ted Cruz compared Obamacare to the
Nazis, because America’s next President doesn’t need to read history books with any
degree of comprehension, right?! Back in college, Ted Cruz invented the re-growable
hymen, and by invented, we mean he said a re-growable hymen would be
a cool way to tell if your wife had cheated. What? That’s not how hymens work? Sorry,
I didn’t realize you were a hymen SCIENTIST. Whatever that is! So vote Ted Cruz, and vote for a guy who vaguely
understands a few things, and objectively hates the rest. ‘Cept White Castle! I love White Castle,
those little burgers, so cute. [V.O.:] Ted Cruz. Yes, he’s being serious.

37 thoughts on “Ted Cruz Campaign Ad

  1. best part of waking up is megan in your cup… I mean, what? Great cup of coffee. This helped me wake up. Can't stop laughing..

  2. Lmfao I shared this to my Facebook… Cue the hate from my conservative Republican family…….. Now! 🙂

  3. LOOOOOL!!! AMAHHZINGGG as per usual.

    One objection though: Ted Cruz would never drink tea. So not American. They dumped it all in that pearl harbor so fuck your empiricalism #rootbeer

  4. Once upon a time, I thought Dan Quayle was the ceiling for doofus political candidates.

    Dan Quayle has been looking pretty smart lately.

  5. Megan, I really love your videos but I'm really upset with this one. Your videos are always so smart and funny and aware. You obviously educate yourself on the issues and that is why I enjoy your videos- I can laugh along with you but I also learn. That is not the case for this video. You make Ted Cruz out to be someone with a mental deficiency which is both incorrect and offensive. I couldn't even finish the video because I was so disgusted by your portrayal of Ted Cruz. How do you expects your followers to understand why you oppose him if all you are doing is acting like this. It was gross and distracting and I was seriously unpleased. I educate myself so I know what you wanted to say about Cruz because I know a lot about him, but your other followers probably didn't get anything.

  6. Just going to spend my morning watching your videos because it is the only way to improve a so far sh*tty day. I have said it before and will say it again. You are awesome!

  7. I read in to it a bit, and Ted Cruz was 30 YEARS OLD when he proposed the idea of renewable hymens. I am having a hard time letting that sink in.

  8. Can we talk about the scorpion video Ted Cruz posted on his channel? Why does he associate his presidency with a scorpion?

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