Yuma 4×4

Media and Communications

Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele

Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele


[bell rings] – ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, Y’ALL. I’M Y’ALL’S SUBSTITUTE TEACHER,
MR. GARVEY. I TAUGHT SCHOOL FOR 20 YEARS
IN THE INNER CITY, SO DON’T EVEN THINK
ABOUT MESSING WITH ME. Y’ALL FEEL ME?
– MM-HMM. – OKAY.
LET’S TAKE ROLL HERE. JAY QUELLIN. WHERE’S JAY QUELLIN AT? NO JAY QUELLIN HERE? – [clears throat]
– YEAH. – UH, DO YOU MEAN JACQUELINE? – OKAY. SO THAT’S
HOW IT’S GONNA BE. Y’ALL WANNA PLAY. OKAY, THEN. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU,
JAY QUELLIN. BALAKAY. WHERE IS BALAKAY AT? THERE’S NO BALAKAY HERE TODAY? YES, SIR. – MY NAME IS BLAKE.
– BL… ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND? [mocking voice] BLAKE.
WHAT? DO YOU WANNA GO TO WAR, BALAKEY?
– NO. – ‘CAUSE WE COULD GO TO WAR.
– NO. – I’M FOR REAL.
I’M FOR REAL. SO YOU BETTER CHECK YOURSELF. DEE-NICE. IS THERE A DEE-NICE? IF ONE OF Y’ALL SAYS
SOME SILLY-ASS NAME… THIS WHOLE CLASS
IS GONNA FEEL MY WRATH. NOW, DEE-NICE.
– DO YOU MEAN DENISE? – SON OF A BITCH! YOU SAY YOUR NAME RIGHT,
RIGHT NOW. – DENISE?
– YOU SAY IT RIGHT. – DENISE.
– CORRECTLY. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DENISE.
– RIGHT. – DEE-NICE.
– THAT’S BETTER. – [sighs]
– THANK YOU. NOW, AY-AY-RON. WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE IS AY-AY-RON RIGHT NOW? NO AY-AY RON, HUH? WELL, YOU BETTER BE SICK,
DEAD, OR MUTE, AY-AY-RON! – HERE.
OH, MAN. – WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER ME
THE FIRST TIME I SAID IT, HUH? – HUH?
– YOU KNOW, I’M JUST ASKING YOU. I SAID IT,
LIKE, FOUR TIMES. SO WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY IT THE
FIRST TIME I SAID, “AY-AY-RON?” – BECAUSE IT’S PRONOUNCED
“AARON.” – SON OF A BITCH!
[clattering] YOU DONE MESSED UP, AY-AY RON,
NOW TAKE YOUR ASS ON DOWN TO OH-SHAG-HENNESY’S OFFICE
RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID! – WHO?
– OH-SHAG-HENNESY! – PRINCIPAL O’SHAUGHNESSY? – GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN
CLASSROOM BEFORE I BREAK MY FOOT OFF
IN YOUR ASS! INSUBORDINATE… AND CHURLISH. TYM-OH-THEE. – PRESENT.
– THANK YOU!

100 thoughts on “Substitute Teacher – Key & Peele

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. "Timothey."
    "Pre-sent"
    "ThAnK yOu!!!!!!"
    I love that the only black guy in the room said the word "correctly".

  3. Hahahaha.
    I'm asian, so no teacher ever got my name right.
    Its jino, like I would make pizza, not check out your moms vagina every few months.

  4. I get this all the time 😩teachers think it’s a boy and I’m sitting there with my hand raised and they mark me absent and I have to shout that I’m there and they act all confused

  5. I wonder how many times they had to redo this because the cast kept laughing 😂😂 it would have took me about 5 times 💀

  6. The secret to a good life is to express gratitude whenever you feel it. Every day, upon waking, I give thanks that Key and Peele found each other and made this amazing art for us.

  7. “Blake What do you want to go to war balakey”
    “No”
    “Cause we could go to war”
    “No”
    “I’m for real, I’m for real you better check yourself”

  8. J'qualin, balake, d'nice, a….a…ron😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣 damn thats fuckin rude😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

  9. As an instructor in a college, I had an Aaron, and had to fight the urge to follow my inner-city instincts and call him Ay-Ay-Ron thanks to this skit. I'd have to show the skit to explain why it's funny, and then someone would be butt-hurt over the language. Next thing I'd be in Dean O'shag He-ne-SEE's office. That would be churldish.

  10. I taught school for 20 yrs in the inner city,so don't even think of messing up with me, Y'all feel me? Let's take a roll here…

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