Yuma 4×4

Media and Communications

My Facebook Ad Spies Dont Know Me At All

My Facebook Ad Spies Dont Know Me At All


It’s hard to look at the things that other people have and not compare yourself to them. I’m doing everything I can to make my wants and needs heard and It just.–it just feels like it falls on deaf ears. Not that there’s anything wrong with being deaf Except for the part where they’re the best viewers in the world. It’s always the same old thing. Everyone says, [Mocking voice] Oh, I was talking with a friend at church about how much I need a new mattress and the next day, I saw five posts about mattresses. [Odd squeal and shudder noises] Or [Deeper Mocking Voice] Oh, I just thought about a calzone and suddenly, it was there. It’s like a mind reader… This isn’t what’s on my mind. I don’t even know what you would use a urination funnel foor. I’m giving everything I can and still it feels like there’s this disconnect. A lack of interest or concern for everything that means something to me. And that’s when I realized. My Facebook ad spies don’t know me at all. I still remember the day it happened. How we fell. My friends were scrolling through their feeds and they were full of advertisements for cute leggings for athletic, trim, young women and scams for free bracelets. But in 14 years my feed hasn’t shown me a single scam for a single free bracelet Instead, I get advertisements for clothing subscription services for plus-sized women. I knew I was putting on a little weight but C’mon guys! Things only got worse from there. It wasn’t until Saw the fetal pig in formaldehyde that I knew. It was over. Or maybe it never even was. Sometimes it isn’t until you completely poured your heart into something that you realize you’ve gotten nothing back. Except for the fetal pig in formaldehyde. [Crying] Huh? Oh, yeah, I use her computer to look at that stuff all the time. I’m into some weird shit. [Groovy music] Same. [Same Groovy Music] Don’t want that in my search history. [Laughs] We’re gonna teach Carolyn how to repair the damage and get back to how things used to be together. Maybe you should be more direct when asking for what you want. Boy oh boy, I sure would like to try one of those wine painting classes with my friends sometime. No, no, no! I mean, maybe you should think about joining the military. What?! What? You don’t RESPECT OUR TROOPS? Get out! Of our country! First my office, then, then the country. I’m sorry about that; he’s a rebel without a cause. Carolyn, if… if you’re doing your part and nothing’s changing maybe it’s time for a break. [Phone shatters] NO! No no no no! I mean–I mean a break from social media. [Echoing] A break from social media… A break from social media… social media… So, I’ve decided to enlist in the military! And I went ahead and subscribed to the plus-size clothing companies! Awesome, babe. Let’s get a picture–gimmie your phone! So pretty, dear! [Whisper-yelling] Do the one about ritzy retirement homes next! Gorgeous! Lookin’ cute, hon! [Typing] [Typing continues] Gangster. [Helicopter approaches] It’s always the same old thing. Everyone says [Mocking voice] Oh! I was talking to a friend at church w–about how I was gathering up some jalapenos for my–for my prize-winning bean dip Well, I was out in the field picking some corn [Laughs]

4 thoughts on “My Facebook Ad Spies Dont Know Me At All

  1. genuinely funny and original!! it's honestly hard to believe you guys don't have more subs, keep up the good work

  2. really funny, i love the pacing and the sily little things, the (i hope) intentionally bad green screen also killed me…I'm also disappointed this hasn't got more views

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