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If The Meat Industry Was Honest – Honest Ads

If The Meat Industry Was Honest  – Honest Ads


ah meet the most dopamine releasing way to get protein into the human body flesh hi have you ever taken a big bite of heated flesh only to find a blob of skin shards of bone or rubbery chunk of cartilage this minor inconvenience and may have been acceptable to primitive man but not to the modern flesh and gesture so we at Horton farms found a solution our skilled technician simply grind up all that business until you can’t tell it’s not meat and call that meat we can then form it into discs loaves balls or square patties whatever shape you want really but discs are winning so let’s run with that tubes are also popular as has been observed most folks don’t really want to know how the tubes get made at Horton farms our flesh tube making process begins and ends with a high-quality intestinal lining I should note there’s no oversight as to what constitutes high-quality I’m just allowed to call things that this human actor represents a human Horton farms butcher which in turn represents a machine I own my machine stuffs any combination of mangled flesh fat and spices into a casing that’s been colored to appeal to your lizard brain if you think about it it’s like a sick joke wrapping an animal inside other parts of itself but you probably won’t think about it in 1959 we identified an enzyme called transglutaminase better known as meat glue it’s great at bonding protein and protein byproducts together we use it to make your steak or chicken breast look like you want it to it doesn’t actually look like that but in the end it’s all poop anyway so who cares transglutaminase is made from guinea pig liver look hotdogs in front of an American flag we’ve also found ways to breed animals to grow larger less healthy and therefore tastier for example most factory farm turkeys are so bulky that they can’t procreate themselves yes someone had to annually facilitate turkey sex for me to be able to eat this but look at this thing it’s huge I love this thing I feel like a Viking right now the way we see it if chickens or cows were advanced enough to find a way to grind us into edible tubes they’d probably do it we did that’s what makes us great we did it first and probably last suck at all the other animals some of you watching this are vegetarians and that’s terrible oh sure is a lifestyle it uses less water and is healthier but it doesn’t taste as good it’s not as patriotic see in America eating meat is part of our national character it’s what farmers dads and astronauts eat we even have a USDA choice grade sticker that looks like an America badge so by Horton Farms brand animal carcass we kill the animal for you reconstitute its flesh and present it in a way that allows you to forget it once had parents what more do you want thank you oh I’m Roger buy away hey thanks so much for watching hope you enjoyed it if you did leave us some comments join up you know and share and yeah maybe we’ll look at some more meat huh but let’s looking at some meat for all you vegans

100 thoughts on “If The Meat Industry Was Honest – Honest Ads

  1. Roger Roger Roger. Thumbs down for Volume drop off at 2:45. This is 4 th video out of 31 that has bad VOLUME. Fix it.

  2. Actually vegan is not healthier. You should do if vegan ads were honest satire
    Examples include here is a big fat slob on a high carbohydrate diet he will lecture you on how healthy the vegan diet is.
    There is no evidence to back his claims but he is fat proving his diet is shit.

  3. "patriotic tho" "tastes good tho" that's level 1 logic, that's low intelligence reasoning to continue the unjustifiable mutilation and murder of animals when it's both unhealthy and environmentally destructive. Therefore it's a completely irrational and intellectually dishonest view.

  4. Lol..I personally never liked meat…in fact when I was little..after I knew what I was eating …I would cry ..and put it on my moms plate when she wasn't looking..Lol..

  5. IF CRACKED WERE HONEST …. they'd not be pushing the vegan/vegetarian bullshit as part of their joke. sure processed meats are/can be terrible. But, eating natural animal meats is not unhealthy and vegans are not these bastions of superb health that they love to claim. so disapoitned that they had to throw in that line about vegans being healthier.

  6. I'm surprised Rodger didn't expose that the animals are generally pumped up with antibiotics and hormones to grow faster

  7. Was it just me, or did that usda stickers ding ring a bit louder than usual? My poor ears. But now I know why meat glue is so yummy! Guinne pigs! They're like yumy hamsters !

  8. That part about plants needing less water is misleading. Because if you take the amount of water per calorie of both plants and meat, meat is the clear winner. There a reason we crave meat. It's protein dense. You have to eat so much more vegetation that the benefit is lost.

  9. 95% of Products are already toxic. but they sell it to us anyways because our population keeps on growing and is impossible to feed all those hungry humans. need fertilizers, pesticides. etc. or you can grow your own and good luck with infestations.

  10. "For all u vegans"
    Lmao 😂 im vegan and i find this video hilarious cuz its TRUE but he explains it in a way that people will actually listen. Although most of their lizard brains wont make the connection and they'll continue eating it anyway 🙄.

  11. “Transglutiminase is made from guinea pig liver.” oh shit oh SHIT OH SHIT
    “Look! Hot dogs in front of an American flag.

  12. The video is wrong about vegetarians: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyNmgSefNA4 and https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/article/going-vegan-isnt-actually-th/

  13. Moral of the story is don't waste your money on branded stuff. prefer local made. if you want to eat meat first buy it then cut it and then eat it

  14. I love eating dead pigs, chickens and cows. And if you don't like it – fuck you. But Roger, I love you. Keep telling it like it is, and I'll keep buying the best animal remains I can get.

  15. Good thing i hunt my own meat. I eat fresh moose,dear, bear, duck and sometimes rabbit and squirrel. I refuse to eat "Goverment Meat"

  16. I've been a vegetarian for 9 years strong. I almost never flex about that, but I think now is an appropriate time.

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