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If Smart Watch Commercials Were Honest – Honest Ads

If Smart Watch Commercials Were Honest – Honest Ads

[Cracked logo intro] Hi, I’m Roger,
and I have one question: Are you ready to become
the best you can possibly be? The answer is no, no you’re not.
So buy this doodad. I call it the Horton Phone Bracelet. It’s a fitness related status symbol that’s smart,
in the sense that it talks to the internet. And you can use this do-dad for everything,
theoretically. Which makes it your fault,
if it doesn’t change your life. Once you shackle yourself to this electric jewelry,
you can track your steps, mileage, heart rate.
And other data you never tracked before, because who cares? No one cared before.
Caring about it, is a need I invented to sell this kind of stuff, and once you invest in this kind of stuff, you’ll feel that need – which you’ll decide is good!
And as soon as you sync your Horton Phone Bracelet to your much more boring pocket-computer-phone. If you use a
uHorton XPhone Generation 8 (otherwise go jump in a lake,
you loser) Anyway this doodad on a necklace,
for your wrist, lets you use your phone (without touching your phone)
by touching this instead, once you’ve made it
your phone’s tiny friend. And for just a couple months rent, you can back-order this,
receive one when we’re done making enough of them,
slap it on your wrist and fumble at it
with your big hammy screen tappers. And did I mention it’s waterproof?
(for the most part) You’re welcome!
(for the most part) Close a business deal from any location,
no matter how illogical. Stay notified of your
familiar humans activities, while you’re with different,
more familiar humans. Run
places! [Fit guy]:
That’s amazing!
It does all that? [Business woman]:
I could really use one! [Old lady]:
Oh ho!
I’ll take two! Everybody wants one,
because our tech companies
target market is humanity. And we can’t sell people our phone twice! So we build a-not-phone
phone, that everybody could use
and ended up with this
health centric TV for mice. That we need you,
to tell yourself you need, Or tell yourself and
make a good gift! – that’s how most people end up
with these things – So why not one of your
close familiar humans? Courage, Bitiflexity,
that’s meaningless. But it sounds like the top thing,
doesn’t it? Those words and
even more words describe
the Horton Phone Bracelet. Because we say they do! And the wearable health gizmo market is so new,
no one can prove we’re wrong yet. But we might be right,
and you like stuff! Hell you can’t get
e-BEEP-nough of it! So grab yourself
a Horton phone bracelet! And wear something
the past’s idea of what a detective from the future would wear.
Today! I’m still Roger,
by the way. [Fit Guy] Wow, I can even use this to catch Pokemon. [Roger] Sure, whatever that is,
go nuts. [Business Women] I just caught a Pidgey! [Roger] Okay… [Old lady] I wish my Blastoise
was better against the grass types! [Roger] (What nightmare future have I created?) [Subtitles by Alex Angel and SubtitleYouTube] Thanks for watching, if you want to subscribe hit the Big C in the middle and if you want to watch more videos like honest ads hit one of the boxes to the right! Be sure to hit the
notification bell so Youtube will notifiy you
when we have new video.

100 thoughts on “If Smart Watch Commercials Were Honest – Honest Ads

  1. My wife made me buy her one after weeks of asking I did she wore it twice, her job recently gifted her the newest one she hasn't even opened the box 🤣🤣🤣

  2. I use a fitness band which costs around 30 dollars
    As a watch (since I love watches)
    As a fitness tracker.(I workout quite often)
    As a gadget to easily change music while I am doing some activity like exercising or walking or jogging or travelling
    As a gadget to get map directions since holding a phone in your hand while walking in a crowded unknown place(I usually do it, since I am a traveller)is quite risky for your phone getting robbed.
    And I think I am getting the value for the money I spend

  3. A normal watch works just fine. Comes in different shapes and sizes. and runs far longer then any tech made watch! Why buy them… to show off maybe? How ridiculous! Bunch of clowns…

  4. 😂 I love this. One of my coworker buys one of them don't even know how to work it. Lmao!! Such a dumb ass. Wasting money he doesn't have. Always complain how broke he is. Smh

  5. I go to the thrift store and buy the most beautiful watches…any watch I find beautiful. I do not replace thw batteries. I buy it for the looks. Everyone has stopped wearing those beautifies for these dumb apple watches. I just use my phone to tell time and my $2 thrift store watch for fashion.😂 Even my actual $16 walmart watch that works does not prompt ne to look at it to tell the time. I still use my cell phone. Also, my current $2 thrift store watch is selling online for $75. Yes Seventy Five dollars!. Silly geeses. Or is it gooses? What about gices like mices? Eh! Who cares? I'll never waste a dime on buying things because everyone has them. I save my money for travel (I also travel frugally as possible😁) I get to have lots of memories from that, try different foods, and see plenty and take pics. Usually a 3 day trip cost ne less than $100 ( food, bus fare 😁, and airbnb). Santa Monica beach is my face spot to spend my weekends off. If I was brave enough to stay on the beach Id shave $32-40 from reservation.😁 I can go on and on about my frugality. I just know I enjoy the best for less while folks brag about their fancy knick knacks.

  6. I think my wife bought me one of your phones I used it about three times and then lost the charger. Why don't I feel aimlessly lost? Cuz I really didn't need it. Good commercial though can you really catch Pokemon on it?

  7. S.M.A.R.T. = Secret Militarized Armaments in Residential Technology (which make us all dumb, not D.U.M.B. Deep Underground Military Bases, but dumb because we are being screwed by our very own government, scientists and military…

  8. I went to the Apple store with my friend because she wanted to get an Apple watch. When I asked her why she needed one, her reply was that she wouldn't have to take out her phone to see calls or texts while wearing the watch. I can't remember the time it costed me $500 to spend 2 seconds of my life taking my phone out of my pocket.

  9. PLEASE ..Do a video for DSLR camera's
    More and more and more and more megapixels each Year .. NOT that your eyes can tell

  10. Actually love miband 3 it can't really be considered a smartwatch but it really is a wonderful and useful gadget that you can get for 30 bucks or less

  11. I like my smartwatch for the following reasons:
    1. It notifies me when my heart rate is too high and that I need to be more active.
    2. It tells me how many steps I took that day.
    3. It lets me know when my phone is ringing when I can't hear it
    4. It lets me get a text when my phone battery dies
    5. I use the timer and the alarms when I need it
    6.i love the calendar on it
    7. Calories burnt

    I haven't tried many of the other apps. I really like my smart watch!
    I like this fitbit because I only have to charge it once a week!!!!

  12. Actually a friend of mine enginerrs watches and he made one that was incredible. He wore one himself. It actually did all sorts of things but some cheapskate like me wouldnt bother.

  13. My brother in law has one and he's buying one for his daughter. I looked at him and asked how long would he expect to get real use out of a regular watch costing what these do and he said 15-20 years or more. Then I reminded him these are nothing but miniature versions of cell phones with screens so small you can't read text on them and I asked him how often he replaces his cell and he said 3-4 years. I get it, it's the latest and greatest gadget that impulsive people HAVE to have and will say they love it even if they don't simply to justify their insanity. But as with everything electronic it has a truncated lifespan and will be obsolete by either software or hardware by design in a just a few years. So instead of a nice kinetic or echo drive watch to buy every 20 years, he'd rather buy this gadget every 3. Spend $350 vs $2450. I get it, it tells you when you get an email, the temperature outside and your heart rate, but is it really worth that much difference?

  14. Rodger, Thank you I’m Going right now to buy that do dad!!
    It’s only cost a couple of months rent ,
    That’s a bargain…

  15. I felt smart watching this video knowing my old watch watch will let me think….. on my oooowwwwnnn. Thanks Roger🍍

  16. G shock is all you need it's durable, Tim and date, alarm, timer, you don't even need to charge it what more do you want ?

  17. Sure, these watches are expensive. But how can you put a price on all the wonderful things this watch will give you? Like cancer. How can you put a price on cancer? That's the hospitals job.

  18. It's sad to see how people are so easily enslaved to tech-nonsence, cell phones are more of a status symbol these days than a communication tool. I see people with the latest most expensive IPhones but can't afford rent or money for food. WTF.. priorities

  19. And with all that additional 5G radiation going to your wrist and other body parts you'll attract more Cancer!! Yay!!

  20. Now you can easily recieve $_4215 on this page to explain enough to learn how to use the program

  21. Maybe I'm the exception, but since I bought a cheaper model smartwatch / fitness tracker, I've been really motivated to work out more.

  22. I hate this channel… they always advertise cool ass gadgets like this Horton watch thingy but they never give a link to buy them… so disappointing!🙄💔

  23. I'd get one if they somehow expanded to a normal size screen when you looked at it and then shrunk back once you stopped 🤔

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