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If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads

If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads

Would you like to be able to eat your favorite foods and still lose weight? Well, if you buy my pattented diet program membership or diet app or pre-packeged diet food thing or whatever diety diet diet stuff I ‘ll tell you that you can and you ‘ll believe me. Hi, I’ m Roger and you ‘re going to pay me to help you lose body mass for a brief period of time in an unhealthy way just to gain it all back and then you ‘ll pay me to do it again! Don’t believe me? Talk to our celebrity spokesperson from a TV show that was big in the 90’s. She was once an icon but society doesn’t embrace ageing so now her job is to get smaller in size, right? Hi! I was a famous person in the past and now I get paid $33,000 per pound I lose to say things like “I love and use this product” I LOVE AND USE THIS PRODUCT! Hmm! Chemicals! Wonderful. Just wonderful! You see, the average celebrity who we hire to lose weight with our programm makes between 500,000 and 3 million dollars for depleting fat using our programm. What a great gig! Next fast food companies will glom on to whatever new eating habits we’ re selling to you. Gluten-free , low carb, you name it! Like this average Joe, who only ate sandwiches for three years. Fast food will claim to be on board the diet train thanks to him It wasn’t that product that made him too small to fit into his pants. He just stop eating unhealthy amounts of food. Τechnically, you can stuff any amount of edible items into your talkhole as long as you limit it. But it won’t make you healthy. and the sandwich company doesn’t care. They ‘ll market the crap out of his shrinkage unless he reveals he ‘s a skeezebag. Then they ‘ll drop him faster than you can say “It’s not healthy to lose that amount of weight that quickly just by eating sandwiches.” Anyway, beat it monster. But if these celebs and average Joes don’t do it for you we ‘ll just shame you, shame you for ingesting anything it’s outside of our program. Because that’s being bad, naughty, or unhealthy But if you eat my fat-free sugary chocolate-covered stale puffed rice snack bar then we’ll applaud you. In fact, our entire program will be designed like a video game, where you get badges and reward points for getting in shape. We ‘ll even make apps where we’ll track your steps exerecises, everything you eat , your location, you know, like a super creepy Big Brother-type thing And we ‘ll make you think you can exercise away that late night cupcake you crushed inside your saliva maker last night, because my carbage puffed bar made you crave sugar. But you cannot jazzercise that cupcake , -which is fine for us- because we have a badge for that too. Look at that neat badge, it’s distracthing and fun, because if didn’t give you some
sort of cutesy badge or virtual high-five you ‘d get bored and defeated. And we don’t want you bored and defeated, we want you to keep giving us money forever, as your body shape morphs back and forth. By the way,the rice puffed bar is now unhealthy but try our new, gluten-free full-fat
paleo square of crusty meat. See how we keep changing
what’s considered good for you? That’s how we get it because a hundred and eight million people are dieting just in the US, and they try and fail, and try and fail four or five times a year. Then if you do lose weight 95% of you will gain it back within 3 years. We deliberately design our program for failure. However, if you earn that weight back it’s YOU who failed, not our program, never our program. You ‘re a failure because you can’t maintain an unrealistic masticating and exercise pattern for the rest of the time you spend breathing. Oops! Looks like paleo bars aren’t good any more Now you should buy my liquid diet, you ‘ll literally piss out your poop hole All because your body is freaking out and doesn’t know what to do. It’s going into starvation mode since you keep switching unheathy diet to unhealthy diet making it harder for you to lose weight Your body is just trying to keep you from starving, but we helped you develop a complex about feeding yourself. It’s something you have to do or you’ll die. And I sell you strategies and products that make it seem legitimate to starve yourself on and off but if you really wanted to get healthy you ‘d just eat moderately and exercise moderately and accept that your body will never be what you deem as perfect. But we’ ll never tell you that. Come on, go ahead and eat my grain-free vegan paleo
allergen-free raw non-solid bar it’s $25 and I guarantee you’ll lose weigth eating it.

100 thoughts on “If Every Famous Diet Idea Was Honest – Honest Ads


  2. I think all you "its not hard" people are forgetting the most important part of the equation as americans most are simply to lazy to do something as hard as exercising and eating properly. Dont they just have a pill or a surgery for that lol why yes yes we do dont worry you dont have to get off or stop stuffing your fat ass these days diet the american way dont do it just have a surgery

  3. I've observed what people go through (99.9% women) "trying to lose weight" by using a diet or program diet strategy. It's awful to witness. There is so much truth in these parodies and this one made me alternate laughing and then cringing. You guys could change the world.

  4. Cracked sees everything in the world so negatively…

    It’s not being honest… but thinking negatively.

    At first I was amused, but nah. Don’t want to be too depressed with my short life by thinking the way cracked do.

  5. Lowcarb and gluten-free is not a problem (and makes sense – it's good for some people, for example someone battling celiac disease or autoimmunity/inflammation/candida/bacterial infections). Be concerned with things like ''fat-free'' (you need fats to absorb fat-soluble vitamins & cholesterol to absorb or create some of them), fake (lab-grown) meat, GMO soy, fructose (destroying your liver) and corn full of pesticides.

  6. to me, maintaining the caloric deficit is not hard since i actually like all the foods i am eating. doesnt feel like diet at all. there are plenty of good food choices you can make and if you enjoy your meals, then you can maintain that way of eating easily. no need to pay for garbage diet products or programs.
    read the actual label on the product and make your decision.

    another key factor for me was exercise. since i am an absolutely lazy person and i do not like to move much, i had an awful slow metabolism. but when i started to couple my diet with cardio and boxing (basically full body sprints), my fat loss process has gotten faster at a rate i`d never imagine possible.

    tldr; aim for caloric deficit. if you do this by both eating less then what you need and start exercising, you will see results.

  7. I lost 100 pounds about 17 or 18 years ago…went from a top weight of 245 down to 145…went from 36-34 bluejeans to 28-34…took me about 2 years total time…did it by eating like a human being (instead of eating for 4 at each meal) …still eat my favorites even now…meat and spuds…never gave those up at all. Just stopped eating so much of them at a sitting…started talking walks and going hiking every day…that turned into a love for running on treadmills…
    How much of the 100 pounds have I gained back in the past near 2 decades? Nothing…
    It's all about mindset and commitment friends…isn't everything?
    I cant even imagine going back. My whole outlook changed.
    Most people live to eat…I did too.
    Now, I just eat to live.
    I explain it like this…I don't stop at every station I pass to top off my car's fuel tank, so why would I eat every time there is some kind of food present?

  8. Ha ha so true…. every time I stop eating outside food and eat more home cooked food I start losing weight within weeks … no diet required at all if we start cooking home… well easier said than done

  9. I'm a rower, so I'm not physically capable of eating great amounts of sugar, fat or any other thing that is chemically addictive. Did anyone ask me? No. But, do I give a shit about it? Neither

  10. in actuality, it is your fault for gaining the weight back. what did you expect would happen if you would go back to your previous eating habits?

  11. Was notified I had COPD and I was given oxygen bottles and more medications than I had ever had in my lifetime. I was also told not to do anything strenuous. I followed doctors orders. I also put on ninety pounds in short order. I looked into and found that one drug stops the "I am full signal" and three others make me hungry, constantly.

    Now I monitor how much and when I eat. I also stopped cooking barbecue, cakes, cookies and pies. I still eat carb worms now and then. Three months and I dropped fifty pounds. Now I am overweight, and the rest is dropping slowly. I also ignored the docs orders and I walk out in the desert a few times a month.

  12. Its hilarious. Because its true. Literally, being at a healthy weight is lots of exercise and food with as few un-natural preservatives as possible. Grow a garden=healthy habit. Buy from local farmers. Go for long walks. Even cleaning your house is exercise. Just move. Waving an arm is exercise=burning calories.

  13. Anyone that tells you you can eat ANYTHING you want and still lose weight is an obvious liar. Only way you can lose weight and eat ANYTHING you want is liposuction. Lol

  14. When I wanted to lose weight I ve experienced all that stuff its really frustrating. In the end I just changed my eating habbits mixed with sport and lost 20kg the healthy way

  15. loosing weight? Just gain weight in the form of muscle through exercise and dont over eat in the first place

  16. The whole 30 crock. Take all sugar and gluten and dairy out of your diet. Even whilebuying gluten free food and drinking ginger tea after every meal, I lost 65 pounds in 2 years. How do you think Asians stay thin?

  17. Well the average celebrity they pay to lie to your face doesn’t even use their program. They most likely have personal trainers

  18. The only dietary group in the USA and the UK with a BMI in the healthy range is vegan. https://youtu.be/bcN2HjOutEk?t=55
    It isn't a diet. It's a lifestyle. Penn Jillette lost more than 100 pounds and kept it off. Kevin Smith did something similar.

    The next link is from the description in the above video to document the source.

  19. I suddenly lost most of the spare tire I had growing around my midsection by relocating to a horrifically hot, humid climate that caused me to constantly sweat profusely, having to walk and bike everywhere to get around (increasing my profuse sweating), and eating mostly eggs, cold soba noodles, and cucumbers. Try my system.

  20. Well being honest and taking personal responsibility doesn’t sell books, crappy food, or seminars. Seems like saying “no” to Excessive junk food and yes to walking isn’t sexy enough or get you into cool and hip communities.

  21. Maybe the best you've made so far. Nothing hidden, nothing revealed, just time-warping what we all observe in real life and making patterns clear.

  22. Great—right after this video an ad popped up for a diet program guaranteed to make me lose weight!!!! LMAO!

  23. Love the ending…"Go ahead & eat my grain-free, vegan, paleo-friendly, allergen and gluten-free, raw non-solid bar…I guarantee you'll lose weight." (* holds out empty hand*) 🤣🤣🤣 So true. We need to just eat moderately & exercise w/o all the gimmicks.😊 Mr. Roger is too funny.

  24. Jared pedophile fogle made millions of people believe in themselves. Remember that. subway paid millions of dollars to a pedophile. I'm supperised this honest video didn't go over this fact

  25. Just eat real foods in moderation. Stay away from grocery items because the majority of foods there are full of preservatives and toxins. Even fresh fruits have wax and pesticides

  26. If your overweight just replace it with muscle you dont have to change diet you just need to dedicate to weights

  27. Perfect day:

    Losing weight while playing Horton magical shape tapper in HortonLand all while eating Horton Salt and Sugar chips.

  28. Ironically, low carb diets do work. If you know what insulin does in the body, you'll know why you gain or lose weight. Carbs spike insulin. Insulin causes fat storage. It also blocks the burning of fat. So lots of carbs means you store lots of fat. Stop eating carbs, stop storing fat. Without carbs, your body burns the fat. No special products or diet memberships needed. No need to give anyone money. Just eat meats, leafy veggies, and non-starchy veggies. No fruit, no sugar.

  29. If people just ate natural foods- organic vegetables, mainly greens, some fruit, free-range eggs, occasionally organic fresh salmon, and drank only clean unflouridated water and occasionally unsweetened tea, if they stopped watching tv and driving everywhere and walked short journeys carrying their groceries and actually spoke to one another, read the Bible and got enough rest, they would be very healthy&never need to 'diet' or visit a doctor.

  30. Rodger: Oh, it looks like my grain-free vegan paleo allergen-free raw non-solid bar is unhealthy now, so now buy my grain-free vegan paleo allergen-free raw non-solid bar shaped like an animal.

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