Yuma 4×4

Media and Communications

Hustle Castle’s Extremely Confusing Ads (Badads 4)

Hustle Castle’s Extremely Confusing Ads (Badads 4)

What’s up, Greg, I hope you’re all having a great day. Welcome back to my channel. This, of course, is another episode of BadAds (hah get it): the show where we look at the worst ads on the Internet, I’m your host Danny the sexiest rat on all of YouTube man, the weird ads just keep on coming I keep thinking that I’m not gonna have enough material to make another video about bad ads But they just keep on rolling in, people keep sending them to me and they’re so uniquely weird every time like this one, which somebody submitted to my subreddit it looks like a football game and it says: “After 2 touchdowns,” “you are legally allowed to play Super Bowl.” Which is a promise that there’s no way they would be able to uphold. You’re telling me if I score two points in this game I’m legally allowed to just waltz onto the field during the next Super Bowl and put on a jersey and just start playing? I love how it’s two touchdowns. Like they didn’t even make it seem like a high number, like you had to be really good at this game. You just have to score two touchdowns ever. You could play this game for a hundred years and only score two touchdowns and you’ll still be allowed to play in the Super Bowl. Wait, do they mean I’ll be able to play *in* the Super Bowl or play *Super Bowl*? like there’s some other game named Super Bowl Maybe this company has another game that they make that said: “Well, you play as a bowl with a cape and you…” “…fly around and save the day.” Oh, here’s another good one I got. It’s an ad for a game that’s clearly all about baseball. Got the American League versus the National League, you can bat. But the caption says “Free Addicting Football Game” so I was like “Oh, this must be a game where you can play like multiple different sports” like you can play football, you can play baseball, you can play basketball They’ve got a bunch of sports just compiled into one game. But according to the ad itself, this game is literally called baseball. So, I’m pretty sure it’s just about baseball. Man, say what you want about baseball, but it’s America’s favorite pastime for a reason, because it’s the most addicting football game. Oh man, we have a lot of good ads this time. There’s probably the weirdest ad I’ve ever seen Which we will talk about later on Okay, this next one must be popping up for like all of my followers, because people keep sending me this ad so I can’t not talk about it It’s for a game called “Hustle castle” which I think is a pretty popular game and it has like thousands of reviews on the app store so I’m guessing a lot of people play it. But this ad for it is just really weird and kind of makes me uncomfortable Okay So here it is and I just don’t really know what’s going on in this ad, like what is this ad trying to tell me you start out as a newbie and you’re kind of this punk girl and then as you level up You just get shorter and your boobs get bigger and your hands go from looking like regular fists to kind of looking like little tiny Nubs, I don’t know just you just get you get shorter and get bigger boobs and that’s how you level up in the game. Is this game supposed to be medieval themed? It’s called a hustle castle and yet you go from being like a punk looking kind of girl to being in this like sexy suave red dress, neither of which seem very medieval And the caption is: Really? Because I can’t figure out even one thing that you can do in this game. It’s just people standing still and looking kind of like drowsily at the camera. I mean if you really can’t do everything in this game this ad does not do a very good job of presenting that. So like I said I think that this ad is getting targeted towards a lot of people that follow me, because I’ve been getting this one requested a lot But apparently this game Hustle Castle has like a shit ton of ads and this is not the weirdest one. In fact, this is probably the most tame one. Apparently hustle castle has been like spamming twitter with these ads. They’re all over and they’re all really weirdly sexual and they make me very uncomfortable I’ve seen tweets of people saying that they blocked the account that was giving them ads for this and they kept getting ads because apparently the company that makes this game has like multiple accounts. So that even if you block one you’ll still keep getting ads for it and you have to block all of them to stop. But I mean, come on. “How bad could the ads possibly be?”, you’re probably wondering. “It’s just a mobile game ad, like how messed up could they possibly make an ad for such a cartoonish, harmless app?” So Does this answer your question what the fuck is going on here? I honestly don’t know and I certainly don’t want to hazard a guess because I fear it’s too heinous to say I’m not trying to get demonetised actually probably just even showing this ad is gonna get me demonetised I don’t know how this passes Twitter’s guidelines for promoted material. It seems pretty fucked up Okay. So this one’s got the same caption as the other one. You can do everything in this game I guess that caption makes a little bit more sense in this context I guess in order to prove that you can do everything in this game. They had to show something that no other game Would do be like, yeah We really did add in everything even shit that you would never want to do and shouldn’t be in games we even added that in so You can do everything in this game I would like to know who this ad appeals to like who sees this ad and it’s like ah finally a game that lets you do everything even the stuff that I want to do, which is This I didn’t even know that This kind of thing existed until I saw this ad, but now that I know that it exists I want to do it I’m so tired of games where you have to save the damsel in distress. I want to be the one Putting the damsel in distress. I would like to be distressing the damsel and what better way to distress the damsel Than this I can’t think of a single better way. She looks pretty fucking distressed to me. Actually. She doesn’t she looks Pretty tame to be honest, especially considering what’s happening to her. She’s just kind of like oh, Kind of disappointed Not this again. Okay. This one has a different caption not children’s game Not children’s game. Uh, uh, so at first when I saw this ad I thought uh-oh This not good. I was like, uh, is this woman about to seduce? Two gigantic dragons and have sex with them. But then I thought no Danny get your mind out of the gutter you pervert you Rapscallion, there’s no way that this mobile game would be advertising that you can be a woman and have sexual intercourse with two gigantic dragon there’s no way that they would put that in a game, but that was foolish Because you can do everything in this game and that includes dragon birth. That’s right, because level 13 is dragon birth This is the next ad that I saw for this game I saw them in sequential order and boy was I surprised when I saw this So apparently when you reach level 13 in the game You have sex with some dragons and then it’s time to just start popping out dragon eggs You’re in pain in great pain screaming. It appears the doctor shocked cuz he’s never seen anything like it He’s holding your little dragon eggs, and the dragon is just peering through the window like hell. Yeah, I did that I just like to point out one thing Because I don’t know a lot, but I do know just one thing about About childbirth and that’s that the woman supplies the egg So do you mean to tell me that the woman had dinosaur eggs in her this whole time? But that’s why the doctor so confuse. He’s like wait Did you have dinosaur eggs? I guess I’ve never seen a human egg up close So I can’t then how much to compare it to why does the egg have scales? I know the dragon should have scales when it comes out but never seen an egg with scales Something’s not adding up about this whole dragon birth thing. Maybe if I overanalyze it a little bit more It’ll start to make sense. Honestly, this whole situation is messed up But I do think that it is a little rude of them to not at least let the dragon into the hospital He’s got to be peering through the window to watch the birth of his firstborn son. Come on It seems a little bit barbaric and dare. I say it Racist against dragons if he’s willing to be there for his darling bride on this most important day of her life I think you should be allowed in the delivery room. He’s being a supportive father, but no instead He just has to stick his long ass neck in through the window and watch his wife give birth to his his dragon spawn this Set just doesn’t even make sense. What are they trying to show when you go from level 15 Pro to level 35 master? Nothing changes you get a different colored jumpsuit and that’s it. Nothing else happens Your butt is still just as round and you still got little nubs for hands and tiny. Tiny baby feet I’m astounded by how tiny their feet are did nobody notice that when they were making this they head they literally have baby fee you Can do everything in this game? there’s mom and dad and there’s their daughter and You can do everything in this game and they’re all just kind of looking at each other What the hell do you guys think this one means? Cuz I’m definitely not liking the look of it. Uh Is that the doctor from the earlier? Yeah, it is. No he has a family of his own. What the hell is this game? Like what do you even do in this game? I’ve seen so many ads for this game and could not tell you like what the gameplay is Is it like an RPG? Do you just walk around doing whatever the hell you want? You can have sex with a dragon you could Do that. Whatever that is. You just sit around with your big butt and your tiny little feet and just look at the camera What do you do in this game? So I went to the actual App Store page for this app to take a look? So the game is called hustle castle Fantasy Kingdom coop battles build the castle of your dreams crush the enemy take part in adventures conquer the world complete hundreds of missions so basically None of the stuff that was in the ads just a regular medieval fantasy game. So then what’s up with the ads? Okay, we’ve reached the point in the video where I would now like to talk about my favorite ad Maybe ever this is an ad for a game called poly sphere a lot of people send me this ad so I’m guessing that a good number of you might have seen this it seems like they Advertise it to a lot of people. They probably spend a lot of money advertising this and I Just have endless questions about this ad. So at first it just seems like a pretty normal ad for a game It looks like this game we have to move around this like cloud of Fragmented pieces until you get the image that you are supposed to get but then a couple seconds in did I add? Text messages start popping up on the top of the screen from someone named X who I guess is supposed to be some Past lover of ours, they immediately start going off and insulting us as you can clearly see by her first text Which says you suck and they just keep popping up at the top of the screen just weird insult and it’s hard to even tell like what she’s upset about or what she’s trying to get across cuz they’re just kind of like vague and confusing insults Like does she know that we’re playing this game and she knows we’re having a hard time Solving the puzzle and that’s why she’s texting us cuz it’s it’s things like gonna cry Gonna piss your pants me maybe a little baby gonna piss your pants little kid, so it’s pretty weird, right? It’s a pretty weird ad definitely very confusing It doesn’t really make you want to download the game doesn’t really explain why your ex would be texting you such mean things While you’re trying to play this game But guess what it gets weirder because we haven’t turned on the sound yet Cuz not only is your ex texting you insults while you’re playing the game She’s also like apparently standing right next to you and verbally insulting you while you play the game So I’m just gonna play the ad once through and just let you listen to the whole thing and just just take it all in Hahaha, you think you can just let me come into your life and then just dispose of me like a battery your mind Josh not Your girlfriend’s not gods your mind Josh mine Not your so-called pastors not gods now I Don’t know dude don’t look at me so like it I’m so confused how this is even an advertisement for the game Is this what they’re trying to tell us will happen if we play the game like you’ll download it and then all of a sudden? Your ex will start texting you and telling you how bad you are at the game and then that only will she be texting you but she’ll also be Standing right next to you just sent over and yelling in your ear about how bad you are at the game or no? Not even how bad you are at the game. That’s Nick because that’s not what she’s talking about She’s saying some weird random shit about how your hers forever this ad is it has got to be one of the weirdest I’ve ever Seen cuz not only is the whole concept weird and makes no sense But like the more and more times you listen to it the more you cuts little details that make it even weirder It’s like a fever dream like the weird laugh at the beginning ha ha ha ha ha ha What a lazy evil laugh ha ha ha then She says you think you can dispose of me like a battery Think you can just let me come into your life and then just dispose of me like a battery like is that the first thing? You think of when you think of disposable things a battery? I can think of so many other things that I throw away more often than batteries napkins Batteries, okay, so I guess it’s just napkins, but she so they said napkin then she starts saying your mind you’re not this person You know that person’s your not so and so’s you’re mine You’re mine charge and there’s like no rhyme or reason that I can discern for the people that she’s listing She says not your girlfriend’s not God’s Which is a really drastic jump going from like your new girlfriend has nothing on me You’re gonna come crawling back to me in no time. Tell you do not belong to God bitch you belong to me It seems a little drastic then she says you’re not your so-called pastors But why does she say what is so-called Pastor mean? What is he not a real pastor? What does she know that we don’t about our pastor? Not that homeless person that dresses up in a robe and goes out in public and yells at people about the end of the world That you call your pastor and she says not God again. She says God twice, not God Don’t know why she had to circle back to that. Just had to make it really clear you are not gods You’re not your girlfriends. You’re not gods you’re not your pastor and you’re definitely not God’s I really feel like some backstory would be really helpful in this ad but at the same time I Definitely don’t want any more information about what’s going on I hope that I don’t sound insane and that this ad really is as weird as I think it is But I’ve watched us so many times Just trying to figure out like the thought process behind making this like what did they think that they were doing? Who did they think they were gonna persuade to download the app by making this? I just don’t I don’t understand. All right Well, anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this video if you’re new here Make sure you subscribe and turn on notifications To join Greg Greg as my family here on YouTube All you have to do to join is subscribe and turn on notifications And then guess what you are officially blood related to everybody else in Greg That’s how it works cuz we’re family don’t ask any question and definitely don’t look it up. It is true You want to snag tickets to come see me on tour here are all of the shows that still have tickets available If you go to we are two different people – or calm or the link in the description You can snag those make sure you do that quick Thank You. Taryn does art for turning on my notifications. You are truly Greg I’ll see you guys next time with a really interesting Video where I cry so much that I fell up this entire room and I drown in a pool of my own tears But this video is over now You’ll find something else to watch or just watch this video I know we had a lot of fun But you can’t stay on this entry forever this video is over now so why are you still watching this a unity

100 thoughts on “Hustle Castle’s Extremely Confusing Ads (Badads 4)

  1. finally somebody addressed the ads that are made by 26 year olds living in their moms basement making 35¢ an ad

  2. I got a polysphere ad while you were playing it and I watched the whole thing thinking it was part of the video 😂

  3. Danny: "I'm your host, Danny. The sexiest rat on all of youtube."
    Me: "…other that Carol from Ratatoing."

  4. So the weird thing about the whole poly sphere ad is that there are multiple of them with the same audio and messages but just some person doing a different puzzle

  5. "There's no way they would put a woman seducing and having sex with two gigantic dragons in a game"

    Yeah they would, it's called Final Fantasy XIV Online: Heavensward

    Install now for free

    I'm just joking that'll be $60

  6. K but like I remember that polysphore app to once actually have normal ads and I once even downloaded it bc of one ad I deleted it bc I got bored and then I saw this weird ad and was like ‘what the frig’

  7. Since polysphere's selling point has always been that it's supposed to be calming, I think the ad was trying to convey that Josh was so chill that he didn't even notice his creepy ex.

  8. About the first one:
    You are legally allowed to play Super bowl as long as you are on a team, no matter how good you are.



    MAYBE IT'S THE ACTUAL EX (or an old game you used to play) TEXTING TO PERSUADE YOU TO GET THE GAME
    “you suck at this, I am better” to get you to play it

    And the voice could be the app’s? 👀 Like it's saying after you download it to prove your ex (old game) wrong but alas now you are forever poly's

    Big brain

    -idk if anyone else commented this and I'm too lazy to check-

  10. I downloaded that puzzle game in hopes my ex would talk to me again, purely just so I can get a decent root again but all I got was the easiest game out

  11. I was about to blow out my candle when you said "I want to be the one putting the damsel in distress" and i cackled and almost burned myself on the wax

  12. Oh my god thank you, I’m not the only one that’s so confused by the polygon ad. I was just watching videos and I saw that ad and I was honestly so confused jeez.

Leave comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *.