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Media and Communications

Honest Headlines

Honest Headlines


OKAY. THIS COMES TO US FROM YAHOO, THE
HEADLINE READS APPLE WANTS THE APPLE STORE TO BE THE COOL PLACE
FOR TEENS TO HANG OUT. THAT WAS THE HEADLINE. THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE
READ ADULTS WILL SOON BE TOO SCARED TO GO INTO APPLE STORES. HEAR IS A HEADLINE FROM “U.S.A. TODAY.” AND THE HEADLINE READ, DABBING
DAUGHTER TURN UP ARE– DD DADS AND DAUGHTER TURN UP AFTER 127
DAYS AT SEA, THE HONEST SHOULD HAVE SAID AFTER 27 DAYS OF
EXPLANATION DAD STILL DOESN’T GET SNAPCHAT. HERE IS A HEADLINE IN THE
HUFFINGTON POST THAT SAYS A REAL FUNCTIONAL BANANA PHONE IS
COMING SOON. THAT WAS THE HEADLINE. THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE
READ FUNNIEST GUY IN THE OFFICE IS GETTING A NEW PHONE. HERE IS ANOTHER ONE FROM
HUFFINGTON POST THAT SAYS SURGEONS REMOVE PENS FROM MAN’S
STOMACH 36 YEARS AFTER HE SWALLOWED THEM. THAT WAS THE HEADLINE. THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE
SAID MAN FINALLY ANSWERS QUESTION, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO
THAT PEN. (LAUGHTER)
I WENT TO THE DOCTOR ONCE AND HE WROTE ME A PREDESCRIPTION, I HAD
A SORE THROAT. HE STARTED WRITING A
PRESCRIPTION WITH A THERMOMETER. I SAID DOCTOR, THAT IS A
THERMOMETER. HE SAID YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED,
SOME [BLEEP] HAS GOT MY PEN. HERE’S ANOTHER HEADLINE, FROM
THE HUFFINGTON POST T READS BEYONCE STARTING A SCHOLARSHIP
FOR WOKE WOMEN IN COLLEGE. THAT WAS THE HEADLINE. THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE
SAID OKAY, LADIES, NOW LET’S GET EDUCATION. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).>>James: AND HERE IS ONE FROM
CNN THAT SAYS TRUMP AIDES DON’T WANT TO ADMIT THE PRESIDENT IS
GOLFING. THAT IS THE HEADLINE. THE HONEST HEADLINE SHOULD HAVE
READ [BLEEP] COMPANIONSHIP WITH 18 OTHER HOLES.

38 thoughts on “Honest Headlines

  1. its really good to see everyone shitting on trump these days. i was actually scared that im living in a country of idiots that actually support this guy. he lied his way into the presidency im sure all those ppl who voted for him bcak then are watching this vid and chuckling

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