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Crank Yankers – Spoonie Places a Personal Ad

Crank Yankers –  Spoonie Places a Personal Ad


( phone ringing ) ( woman )
Classifieds, Sheryl speaking,
how may I help you ? YES, UH, IS THIS
THE VILLAGE VOICE ?
Mm-hmm. YES, YES, I WOULD LIKE
TO PLACE A PERSONAL AD. What would you like
to say in your ad ? I’D LIKE TO SAY:
“WELL-ENDOWED PLAY-UH…” “WELL-ENDOWED”, OF COURSE. “31.” Mm-hmm. “SEEKS DIRTY HO’
TO SIP CRISTAL.” Repeat that. “SEEKS DIRTY HO’ TO SIP CRISTAL
AND HAVE HER ASS TORE UP.” “DIRTY… HO… TO SIP… Cristal.” MM-HMM. “And have her
ass teared up.” HER ASS TEARED UP ? YEAH, YEAH. THIS IS TOO RAUNCHY,
EVEN THOUGH… Oh, yeah, this is
straight hip-hop. THIS IS HOW FEMALES
IN HIP-HOP LIKE IT. THEY LIKE TO BE TALKED–
THIS HOW WE COMMUNICATE. “BABY’S GOTTA KEEP
IT REALER THAN A MO’FO’ AS I ROLL UP DEEP
IN HER STEEZE.” DEEP IN HER… “STEEZE, OR CREVICE. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY.” OKAY, THIS AD CANNOT GO UNDER
THE “MEN SEEKING WOMEN” CATEGORY AND YOU’D HAVE TO
CHANGE YOUR WORDING. YOU CAN’T SEEK
A DIRTY HO. INSTEAD OF SAYING “DEEP INTO
HER CREVICE,” WHAT CAN I SAY ? ONE MOMENT. HOW ABOUT THIS ? I HAVE SOMETHING
TOTALLY DIFFERENT. A TOTALLY DIFFERENT AD. UMM, UMM… “DEAR HIZZOS–” NO HOS, NO HIZZOS, NO HOS. INSTEAD OF HIZZOS,
CAN I PUT LIZADIES ? LIZADIES ? “WIZANTS TO GET SHIZZY
WITH THE NIZZY. “PLIZZY GIVIZZY
ME A SIZZLE. SINCEZERELY YUZOURS.” NO… WHY NOT ? I THINK THAT’S FLY ! OKAY, LET’S KEEP IT SIMPLE THEN,
ONLY– “ONLY HOTTIES NEED APPLY. “MUST LIKE LONG WALKS
ON THE BEACH, “NIGHTS IN FRONT OF
THE FIREPLACE, AND SUSHI. “SHOULDN’T STEAL MY STUFF. “I LIKE MY WOMEN HAIRY. “MUST HAVE TITTIES AND
A BADONKADONK BUTT. I don’t like dirty ass,
gotta have a clean ass.” YOU OBVIOUSLY– HAVE
YOU READ OUR PERSONALS ? YEAH, I’M JUST PUTTING MY
PERSONALS, THIS WHAT IWANT.AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: GOTTA HAVE STRONG LEGS,
ESPECIALLY AT THE KNEES. GONNA SPEND A LOT OF
TIME ON THE KNEES. YOU CANNOT PLACE
A GRAPHIC AD. WHAT ABOUT
THE BADONKADONK BUTT ? NO. YOU CAN’T PUT
“BADONKADONK” ? WHAT ABOUT
“MUST HAVE BACK” ? YOU CAN SAY THAT,
“MUST HAVE BACK” ? MUST HAVE BACK ! What’s next ? DON’T STEAL MY STUFF. AND THEN AFTER THAT,
I LIKE ‘EM HAIRY AS HELL. COULD YOU JUST READ
THAT BACK TO ME ? YOU HAVE: ONLY
HOTTIES NEED APPLY. GOTTA HAVE STRONG LEGS. MUST HAVE BACK. DON’T STEAL MY STUFF. I LIKE A LOT OF
HAIR EVERYWHERE. NICE, NICE, NICE. OH, ONE MORE THING. Mm-hmm. I LIKE STRETCH MARKS. MUST HAVE
A C-SECTION SCAR. YOU CAN’T PUT THAT
ON YOUR GREETING, YOU CAN’T PUT
THAT IN PRINT. OH, ONE MORE THING THEN:
UH, “GOTTA LOVE TO HUMP.” NOPE. “GOTTA LOVE TO BONE.” NOPE. YOU KNOW WHAT
A C-RING IS ? NO, THAT’S NOT GOING
IN YOUR AD EITHER. “MUST BUY ME
A ( blank ) RING.” CANNOT BUY YOU
ANYTHING IN YOUR AD, NO. WHAT ABOUT THIS: “I WANT TO BUST
A DOUBLE HORIZONTAL ON YO’ ASS.” NO. OKAY. Okay, take care. UH-HUH, I’LL
HOLLA’ AT YOU, SHERYL. B’bye. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, DON’T
NEVER CHANGE, BABY. COOL. YO, DON’T CHANGE,
SHERYL, DON’T CHANGE. C’MON, DON’T GET
OFF THE PHONE. CAN I JUST SPEAK TO YOU
FOR ONE MORE MINUTE ? DON’T CHANGE,
I LOVE YOU, GIRL. I WISH I COULD
MEET YOU. That’s very nice. CAN I MEET YOU ? BLESS YOU. YO BABY, CAN I MEET YOU ? SOUND SEXY.

100 thoughts on “Crank Yankers – Spoonie Places a Personal Ad

  1. Comedy Central has made the call to dial up Crank Yankers again.

    The cable network announced Monday (2/11/2019) at the Television Critics Association Winter Press Tour in Pasadena, Calif., that it has ordered 20 new episodes of the puppets-making-prank-calls comedy. Created by Jimmy Kimmel, Adam Carolla, and Daniel Kellison, Crank Yankers originally ran from 2002 to 2005 on Comedy Central and resurfaced for a fourth season on MTV2 in 2007. In this new incarnation of the show, the puppets will target unsuspecting people on phones, as well as โ€œsocial media, e-sport platforms, and any venue where trouble can be made,โ€ according to the network. โ€œCrank Yankers has always been my favorite show to make,โ€ said Kimmel โ€” whose brother Jonathan will serve as showrunner โ€” in a statement. โ€œNothing is more fun or makes me laugh harder than a great crank call and I am thrilled that Comedy Central asked us to do it again. At this time, I would like to ask all Americans to disable their caller ID. Thank you.โ€

  2. has anyone use this add on 'plenty of fish' or any other 'dating app'?
    guarranTEED to score!
    shout out to spoonie for going after what he wants!
    she GOTS to have back and not steal his stuff!
    sounds like a Winner!

  3. I used to watch Comedy Central just to see Crank Yankers! I loved any show with puppets in it especially Sesame Street, The Puzzle Place, and Bear in the Big Blue House! I thought Crank Yankers was really funny even though I was too young to understand the jokes! Spoonie Luv from Up Above was one of my favorites!

  4. แ›žแšขแ›‹แ›แ›แšพ แšบแšจแšดแ›Ÿแšพแ›‹แ›Ÿแšพ says:

    I miss this show.

  5. I forgot how nasty and hilarious Crank Yankers was …. this was over 10 years ago . Today this kind of humor would have been smashed by the SJW- Army !!!

  6. "How about this I'd like to bust a DOUBLE-HORIZONTAL on your Ass " Emhhhh no …. This is the funniest shit I have seen for ages!!!

  7. "Steeze, or crevist".. instead of hizzoes can I put lizzadies?" ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  8. Wizantz, sincinzerly yoursz ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ this is GREAT.

    Maโ€™am you heard him ! THATS WHAT HE WANTS๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  9. Funniest show ever….โ€I love you….donโ€™t change..โ€ ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜œ

  10. I love when Tracy Morgan skits came on .. I was in junior high and high school when this came out .. Iโ€™m 33 now ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพโค๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฏ

  11. To all the naysayers, the voice of Spoonie IS Tracy Morgan.

    https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0318959/fullcredits/cast?ref_=m_ttfc_3

  12. It's amazing that you actually had to call and talk to people to put out a personal ad LOL… I'm old as shit and I didn't even remember that

  13. 2:50
    "don't steal my stuff"
    ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฟ

  14. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

  15. I remember trying to explain to my little cousin why he couldn't watch this, he thought it was a new sesame Street.

  16. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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