(Hey Greg, I accidentally uploaded this video yesterday, but it wasn’t done and it wasn’t ready to post yet, so I’m uploading it again today, so please watch it. Okay. Thanks. Bye.) What’s up, Greg. 🙂 I hope you’re all having a great day. Welcome back to my channel. This of course is another episode of “free promotion,” the show where I set out to make fun of
bad Instagram ads, but in the process, accidentally give them a bunch of extra exposure. Also, as I’ve been saying in the last few videos, we’re going on tour in all of these cities, tickets are available now. We also just added more cities, so if you live near any of these cities and you want to get tickets, I would highly advise doing that soon. Tickets have sold out of some of the venues, so if you’re planning on coming, and you want to come, make sure you get your tickets soon. All right, guys. Well here we are again, back in the world of
bad ads, or “badads” as I like to call them. There’s an ad that I just got
sent on Instagram that I think might be one
of my favorite ads that I’ve ever seen. It’s an Instagram story that’s been popping up
for people as an ad and I think it’s hilarious. So a long time ago, probably over a year ago, I made a video about as seen on TV commercials, and at the end of that video, I made like a “parody commercial” that was a seminar for screaming,
to learn how to scream. I thought, “Oh, that would be such a stupid product.
Who would ever want to learn how to scream?” Um… So anyway, here’s this ad. “I’m telling you,
this is gonna make your screaming badass.” *screams* *more screaming* And that’s, um, that’s the whole ad. These motherfuckers stole my idea.
I came up with the screaming seminar! I came up with teaching how to scream! You can’t take my joke idea and turn it into a real idea. It’s not fair. So I’m a little confused
what this is supposed to be for. Well, at first I was just confused because the scary lady was screaming at me. *even more screaming* But then as I watched it, I realised it’s like a tutorial on how to scream for screamo music. So it’s basically like vocal lessons for people who want to do screamo music. It even has, like, I don’t know, “testimonials”, I guess? Where it just shows people from all walks of life screaming, and that made sense to me. Granted, it didn’t make it any less scary. But it made sense, ’cause they all
seem to be people in front of their computer or whatever as they’re practicing, or maybe with headphones on like they’re screaming along to music. But then the last clip is, like, this mom in the car,
uh, and her daughter is in the backseat, and the mom just starts screaming. *mom screams* And the daughter’s like, “Whoa! What the fuck is going on?
What’s wrong with my mom?” So that doesn’t really make it seem like it’s like a
“how to scream in a musical sense”. That makes it seem like it’s like
“how to scare your daughter”. *mom screaming again* So I guess that’s the confusing part for me, is the whole thing makes it seem like it’s like music lessons, like it’s teaching you how to scream musically, but then at the very end and it’s like,
“And you can also prank your daughter. So if that wasn’t enough reason, if you’re not interested in screamo music, you can prank your daughter. Sign up now!” I’ve seen a big surge of ads that use reverse psychology lately, here’s a weird one that someone sent me. It looks like it’s an app, uh, that teaches you how to play the guitar,
because you can hold up your iPad like a guitar, and it gives you the notes, and you can strum it. But the caption is, “This app will RUIN your LIFE”. Like what kind of weird reverse psychology is this? You’re warning me about your own app?
What kind of marketing strategy is this? It’s a bold marketing strategy for sure, convincing people that choosing your
product will be the worst decision of their life. I just feel like learning guitar is something that pretty much everyone universally agrees is a good thing. I mean sure, not everyone wants to learn guitar, but I think pretty much everyone could agree that like,
it- learning guitar is not a bad thing. I think we could all agree that there’s plenty
of positive aspects of learning the guitar that they could have used in this advertisement, uh, instead of telling us that it was going to ruin our life. Like if you learn guitar, you could be more fun at parties. You get to learn an instrument, become more musical. Maybe you could pick up girls, pick up boys. You could join a band. That would be fun. But no. Instead this ad is just like, “If you learn the guitar, your life will be RUINED. This shit will tear your family apart. Your career will be in shambles
and you’ll be broke within a month. So go ahead and download the app, huh? Give it a download, c’mahhhn.” How could this app even ruin your life? How does that even make sense? If you learn the guitar people will think you’re too cool. Everyone will want to hang out with you,
you’ll have no free time anymore. Girls will be throwing themselves at you,
boys will be throwing themselves at you. Everyone will be throwing themselves at you. You’ll have bruises all over your body from people, throwing themselves at you. Don’t download this app. I actually have a conspiracy theory
that this is an ad for a different app. It’s an ad from a rival app that wants you to learn a different instrument, a rival instrument, like the banjo. Like the next ad you see on Instagram is just a guy holding a banjo, and he’s like, *Morty voice*
“Hey, did you see the other ad earlier? Oh man, looks like the guitar’s gonna ruin your life. You know, the banjo is a pretty fun instrument. I mean sure, it’s not very cool,
and no one will really appreciate it, you’re not really going to impress anyone but h-hey,
at least it’s not gonna ruin your life, am I right? Go ahead and download my app.” “Only ‘ideots’ can beat this game.” *Ideotian accent* Wait a minute, I’m an ideot. Finally a game for me! Yay! Okay, let’s take a look at this ad. It’s for a game called Roller Splat. “Swipe right, left, top, or bottom to move the ball. Download Roller Splat today. Text for your header.” What? I have no idea what to think of this one. I mean, I’m just at wit’s end trying to figure out what’s going on here. Did they really forget to add text to the header? Did they really publish this ad, and spend probably thousands of dollars advertising this on people’s Instagram pages, and they forgot to put a- they forgot to put text on the header? Is text for header code for something? Is it slang that I don’t get? Does the youth of today say
“text for your header” to mean, like, “really fun, a very good game”
or did they do this on purpose? And this is really how weird
Instagram game ads have gotten, like, the only way that you can stick out as an ad now is by making it seem like you forgot to
finish the ad before you published it. All the games now have to make their ads
look like they were, like, making the game ad, and then they accidentally slipped and hit submit, and then they were like,
“Oh no, I accidentally hit submit, and now- now oh, no, I’m accidentally typing in a marketing
budget of $20,000 on Instagram’s back end, and oh no, I’m hitting submit again on accident, and- and oh no, I’m leaving it up even after seeing the mistake. Oh, noooooo! I’m such an idiot. I’m gonna get fired for sure!” This ad got sent to me a bunch. It looks like some little gardening game. I don’t know why it’s being played on the floor and not a phone, because it’s definitely a game for phones. But the caption on the video says “Named after my ex!”. So out of curiosity, I was like, okay,
what is the joke gonna be here? Is the game gonna be called, like, bitch or something? So at the end of the ad, it says that the game is called Niwashi,
so that must be a different language, because I don’t know what that means. But I want to find out the tea. I want to know what the person who made
the ad for this app thinks about their ex. So let’s uh, let’s Google it. Alright. Translate 庭師 to English. Are you ready to see what he thinks of his ex? Okay, it looks like 庭師 is Japanese for gardener. Huh? Named after my ex.
Dude, my ex was such a fucking gardener. She was always, like, de-weeding my flowerbeds and fertilizing my grass. I had to break up with her, dude. I- I mean, she was such a gardener,
I had to make a whole app. If you guys watched the last badads video that I did you’ll remember this game: “Girls X Battle 2”. I think in the last video
it showed how you could have a girlfriend, who could go from being in fifth grade
to being pregnant or something like that. And since then people have been sending
me a lot of ads for that game so let’s see how they’ve been advertising
since I made that last video. Oh, no. Oh, no. No no no no no no no no no no. Please do not tell me that this is what this game is. Fighting women and trapping them in little balls? Please, what? Please tell me that there’s not a game on the App Store where you fight women and put them in little balls. Like Pokemon is already weird enough
when you think about it for too long, the fact that you’re basically dogfighting
just with made-up creatures. But we definitely don’t need a version where you’re walking around collecting women, and battling them. I don’t think that that’s something that we need.
Wait, what the fuck? And look at the actual names of the options! Okay, so there’s Bag. So if you need any items while you’re fighting this girl, you can reach into your bag and get those. You can escape. I don’t think that you’re gonna be the one who needs to escape from this situation. Just a thought. You can pet the girl… Yikes. And then the one with the Pokeball icon just says “accost.” Accost? Accost. Wait, what does accost mean? “accost: to approach and address someone boldly or aggressively.” Yeah, I kind of feel like we’ve already done that. I think that ship has sailed. if we’re close enough to pet this girl, or do- do whatever we’re gonna do with what we’re pulling out of our bag, *sweats* I’m gonna guess that we’ve already accosted her. I’m gonna guess that we’ve already
aggressively approached this woman. Speaking of being creepy to women, how about another Game of Sultans ad? So there’s this picture of a girl who starts as a little baby, and then she turns into a girl, and then she turns into a woman. And the caption is, “A game that allows you to marry and have children. How long does it take you to get promoted
from a baby to a queen?” This ad only has two sentences, and it fucked both of them up. I get where they were going with the first one. It’s saying you can marry someone
and then you can have children, but I feel like they could have worded it way better, because when I read it for the first time I thought it was saying that you can marry and have children. Like you could either marry children or you could have children. And I hope that’s not what it means, and I don’t think that’s what it means, I just feel like they should word that better.
And the second sentence kind of only reinforces that. “How long does it take you to get promoted from a baby to a queen?” Like, that makes it sound like the emperor’s walking around just scouting out for a baby… …that he can promote to a queen. *dramatic gasp* “You! Who are you?” “Me? Well, I’m just a humble servant, sir.” “No, not you. Her!” “My baby?” *Baby noises of confusion* “Yes, her. I’d like to promote her.” “Oh my goodness, thank you, sir! I’ve always dreamed of my child
having a better life than I!” “And she certainly will. She shall be my queen.” “Uhhh…” “If you reach 2048 in 60 seconds,
you can watch The Lion King”. Wowww. Okay, you know your boy couldn’t do an episode of badads without talking about some Episode ads. Actually, I don’t think any of these are from Episode.
I think that they might all be copycat games. There’s lots of copycat games of Episode now. Like just like choose your own story games and they all advertise in the weirdest way on Instagram. So in this one I guess you can choose to fake your pregnancy test, uh, and then when you show you the father, who I assume is the father of the baby and not your father, because that would be weird, he’s so happy. Look, he’s already sold your apartment. He bought a camper. He’s so excited to have a baby. He put the rest of the money in a college fund. Wow. What a- what a happy thing. But then you get to the end of the scenario and the app is like, “Hold up. Do you want to do that again, only different and worse? Let’s- let’s run that back and do it the other way.” So then it rewinds, and then it shows you deciding to be honest and just show him that you’re not really pregnant, and you show it to the father, and then he’s like, “Oh. Well, maybe we’re not meant to be a family. I’m leaving. Farewell!” and then I guess he just leaves forever. He was so mad at you for not being pregnant that he just left. He says farewell. That’s the last thing he says to her. He ends the entire relationship with “Farewell”. Who in the history of the entire world has ever ended a relationship by saying farewell? What a whimsical word to use in such a dark situation. “I think this is a sign from the universe that we’re not meant to be together. I thought you were the one
but I’m starting to think that I was wrong. *dramatic sigh* As much as it pains me to do this,
I just don’t think I can do this anymore. Farewell! Goodbye. Goodbye. Farewell.
I must go find someone else to have my baby.” Okay, this one starts off with this girl thinking,
“I feel like my crush isn’t into me anymore…” And then you have two options. You can either find another crush,
which I think makes sense, or you could… “use the cushion”. And I guess “use the cushion” means that you make yourself- you make everyone think that you’re pregnant. So I guess she’s gonna try to make her
crush think that he got her pregnant? Which is just weird, cause when I think crush, I think like there’s not already the connection there,
like it’s- it’s a new thing. She has a crush on him but she’s not sure if he likes her too. Like there’s no- there’s no history. There’s no implication that they’ve already had sex is what I’m trying to say. Like she’s gonna be like, “Hey Brad, I heard you like someone else now, but guess what? You can’t leave me because I’m pregnant.” “We’ve never even… spoken before.” “Well, you better start talking to me then, bitch. ‘Cause we have a child to raise.” Alright, let’s check out this scene.
Let’s see what’s going on here. There’s this girl, who’s being absolutely just squeezed by this man, and he says “You’re sexy pregnant”. So that’s just a weird thing to say to someone.
Weird wording, weird sentiment, weird all of it. And your two options are “Let’s DO THIS!” or, “My water just broke.” So those are two drastically different options it gives you. Uh, I just have to say that I’m very confused by the second one. “My water just broke.” Like at first I thought she was like just gonna lie and say her water broke so she could leave. Like she’s just gonna be like, “Oh, I’m sorry, my water broke. I guess I can’t have sex, cause I have to go have a baby! Bye-bye!” But from what I’ve learned, and correct me if I’m wrong, because I often am. But from what I know about giving birth, it’s not very easy to fake your water breaking. So if that’s not the case, ’cause we can’t lie about our water breaking, then is she- is this option to make her water break on command? Do we have that much power in this game? Or is this woman like a superhero who can just *pew* bust her water open on command? That’s like a superpower. It’s not a very good superpower, but it is- it could be considered a superpower. Alright, Greg, well, I hope you enjoyed this video. If you’re new here and you’re not subscribed, make sure you subscribe and turn on my notifications to join Greg. Greg is what I call my fan base on YouTube,
but we’re not just a fan base. We’re a family. Because we all love each other and hold just a tiny little bit of resentment towards one another. Like I said at the beginning of the video, if you want to get tickets for the tour make sure you do that quick because they might sell out, and then if they do and you wanted to come and you didn’t get a ticket then you’re gonna be sad. If you want to get some merch that says Greg on it,
or any of my other merch, go to dannygonzalez.store or
click the link in the description. Alright, thank you Phoebe Westbrooks
for turning on my notifications, you are truly Greg. I’m currently in America and not a different country, and I’ll see you guys next time with a really interesting video where I kick a ball so hard that my shoe flies off. Bye! ♫ This video is over now
(Over now) ♫ ♫ You’ll find something else to watch
(Or just watch this video again) ♫ ♫ I know we had a lot of fun
(A lot of fun, whoo!) ♫ ♫ But you can’t stay on this end screen forever (No) ♫ ♫ This video is over now
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