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6 Phrases That Instantly Persuade People

6 Phrases That Instantly Persuade People

You probably like to think of yourself as a rational human being like when you have a decision to make, you take all the information you make
a pros and cons list and you add that up to make the best decision possible. But you’re a human being and the truth of human beings
is we are far more irrational than we’d like to admit. Oftentimes, our decisions come down to the smallest irrational things and oftentimes, that can be just a few words which is why in this video, I want to give you 6 phrases that you can use to turn the tide in your favor when you’re trying to persuade someone to do something that you might like. Now, this is not going to be a substitute for really developing a true persuasive strategy, it’s not a substitute for empathy but start adding these phrases into your vocabulary and I think you will be shocked with how quickly and how effective they are. So, the first one is when you’re coming up against a gatekeeper and the phrase is simply going to be — “Have you ever made an exception?” Now, I used to use this all the time when I would try to get into bars
and clubs after it was technically at capacity and it worked pretty well. I had a buddy who was going to a graduation ceremony. He had six family members and four tickets to get in and they were there and the guy clearly would have liked to have done something but it was against the rules so my friend said, “Have you ever made an exception?” and he said, “No, I’m sorry we can’t do that.” He said, “Would it be possible to just make one exception this time?” and the guy looked around and said, “Okay, go ahead. You get in there.” This one is most effective when you have a gatekeeper that is just doing their job. They’re not staunchly against you getting in; there trying to follow the rules. But the idea of making one little exception, even I’m thinking back to
a time where they did and going, “Okay, that wasn’t such a big deal,” that can often tip them over to the edge to just showing you in. So that’s the first one. The second one is for when someone has really dug in their feet against you — they do not want to be persuaded, they do not agree with you,
you’re coming out of left field and they’re not into it. And I found myself using this one recently with my family. I wanted my brother to go to this personal development seminar but it’s long; it’s three and a half days and it’s about 12 hours a day. It’s really intense; there’s a ton of reasons not to go. So he was dug in; he did not want to go. And I remember saying to him, “Henry, if I were in your
position, I got to be honest, I’d feel the same exact way.” And he looked at me and I followed up with all the reasons that I’d feel and I said, “Look, I get it — it’s a ton of time, you don’t know if it’s
gonna be valuable, it seems like a crazy cult… I get it.” All of that said and then I proceeded to give
him my reasons that I thought he should go. When you say, “If I was in your position, I’d feel the
same exact way,” you are validating that person. You’re saying, “You’re not wrong; you just might not
be seeing something from a different perspective.” If you try to jump into someone who is staunchly against
you with your side, they’re just gonna dig in deeper. But when you take their side, you say, “You’re actually right,” that sort of gets them to loosen up and then they become a little bit more open to change. And in my brother’s case, he did wind up going to the program. It was
really great, he’s happy he did it, I’m happy he did — it all worked out. So the third one — you can use this; this one is amazing for interviews and I thought about not including it because I don’t want to flood the market. It is incredibly powerful. Use it sooner because I am gonna say it — apparently, a lot of people will see this and hopefully use this but you use this one towards the end of an interview when they’re asking you if you have any questions for them and it’s kind of a long one it goes something like this — “Obviously, I’d love to get this job but when you’re thinking down the line whether
you hire me or whether you hire someone else, how will you know a year from now whether or not you made the right choice? What will that
person had to have done to have been an excellent hire?” I’ve gotten many, many messages from clients
who have said, “First off, the employer loved it.” They were so happy to hear that you took the initiative to find out what it takes to be good in this role but second, when they start reciting to you what a fantastic employee looks like, they’re looking at you and if you say it the way I said it, they’re imagining
having hired you and having had you been this person. When that is in their imagination and they go back to think of who are we going to
hire, they’ve already spent time thinking of having you being an incredible employee. This one is so powerful — so valuable — obviously, you still need to be qualified, but if you get to this point, it can really push you over the edge so use it. The fourth one — this one you can use and add
it to any of these to make it more powerful and it can seem ham-fisted and clumsy but it’s simply just adding the person’s name When you hear your name, you perk up, your
attention is instantly called in that direction and somewhere, it implies that that person knows you like there’s a connection there. The weird thing is, today, we often have times where there’s a
gatekeeper that has a name tag so remember, at bars or clubs we’re trying to get in, the guy would have a nametag; we’d learn his name earlier
or read his nametag and say, “How’s things going in there tonight, John?” and he’d look at us and be like, “Do I know these guys?
I’m not really sure,” so he said, “Uh, it’s good.” And so when it came time to ask, “Could we go in?” he was much more amenable and if it came down to that final question, “Have you
ever made an exception, John?” he felt like he knew us and that made it even more likely that we could get in that night. Again, you can use this not just at a bar or a club, you can use this
all over the place to make any sort of ask much more powerful. The fifth one — this is a sales tactic and it’s called the Yes Ladder. If you’ve ever been called up by your University when they’re asking for money, you know that they don’t just pick up the phone and go,
“Hey, would you like to donate a hundred dollars today?” That would be crazy. They start off by putting you on a Yes Ladder. They say, “Is this the correct address that we can reach you at?
How is this phone number?” something, something, something. They try to get you answering yes to easy questions
before they hit you with the big ask for money. Now, the time that I tend to use this the most in my life and that I recommend that people use it is when they’re asking someone on a date. You don’t want to just jump into, “Hey, can I have your phone number?
Can we go out Wednesday night 8:00 p.m.?” Rather, it’s better to walk them up a Yes Ladder and so since I like salsa dancing, the one that I tend to ask women when I’m asking them
on a date is say, “Have you ever heard of salsa dancing?” Now, just about everyone’s heard of salsa dancing so, “Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” I said, “Does it seem like something that you think you would like?” They’ll think about it and go, “Yeah, I like dancing. Yeah, absolutely.” I say, “Okay. Would you like to go with me sometime?” Again, easy. They’ll go, “Sometime? Sure. Yeah, I’d like to go sometime.” I say, “Perfect. Why don’t you give me your number? This Wednesday at 8:00 p.m.
there’s a class and afterwards, there’s open dancing. We can go do that.” It’s only after three questions that I say the specific ask and it just seems so natural at that point. If I were to jump in, sure, they might give me their phone number or they sign up but that instantly engages this okay-this-is-kind-of-a-big-ask simply by walking people off the Yes Ladder, it feels much more smooth and natural so use that one. And then of course, the sixth one. This one you’re going to want to use pretty much everywhere; it comes from Robert Chiellini. It’s so simple. I thought about not including it but any list of persuasive phrases would not be complete without it and it’s the word because. When we hear the word because, we assume that whatever comes after because must be justifying what came before it and I remember the first time that I used this; I just read it in the book and I was in college. And me and my buddies had this tiny couch where we’d watch South Park and oftentimes, what would happen is three of us could
fit on the couch, four could fit kind of in a squeeze, but typically, the last person in would have to sit in this lousy chair. So I came in late one night and they were all started to sit and I said, “You know what? I’m gonna try this because-thing out,” and I said to my buddy, “Hey, Andrew. Could you slide over because I’d like to sit on the couch?” Now normally, the answer would be, “No, get on that chair,” but I remember he didn’t even blink and he said, “Sure,” slid over,
everyone’s crunched together and there I was sitting on the couch. Now, was it the most comfortable? No. But it felt cool
to know that the power of because was on my side. So those are six phrases that you can employ today into your speech that will make you instantly more persuasive. This is not a substitute for truly understanding human psychology, or for developing empathy but it’s surprising just how
adding these can can really make a huge impact immediately. So I hope that you like these. If you did, make sure to subscribe to the channel. If you’ve not yet done so, we have videos every Monday and Thursday to teach you how to be your most charismatic and confident self and if you’re already subscribed, you might want to hit the notification bell because I realized that YouTube is not always notifying people of new uploads and if you definitely want to hear of it, that’s
the way; subscribe just doesn’t do it anymore. So I hope that you enjoyed this video. If there’s any suggestions,
let me know in the comments and I will see you in the next one.

100 thoughts on “6 Phrases That Instantly Persuade People

  1. Hey there friend! Do you like colors? Do you like making people happy? I feel the same way and if I were you, I would click the like button because it turns it blue and that'll make me happy! 😁

  2. In my History class, we’re learning about Gladiatorial Games for Rome. And we’re doing an outdoor race tomorrow as the “games”. There is only one runner per group to represent their group. My group has 3 people but this bratty student thinks that he should run the race, even though he knows I’m a faster runner. It’s very obnoxious 😒

  3. Interesting ideas. But you're on dodgy ground when you're trying to manipulate someone into going on a date with you (like in your "yes ladder" example). Giving people an easy way to say 'no' is the moral thing to do imo

  4. That question to ask the interview was mind blowing. Making them see you in the positive light can truly change the outcome if you get hired or not. Loved it. Will use it and come up with other ideas similar to this.

  5. I'm watching this because I wanna make my friend believe that 3+3*3-3+3 is 12. I've asked Google. I've one it with my calculator and I've done research on an article about weird math problems and we had an argument because of this problem. And she doesn't believe me…

  6. There’s this really annoying kid joining my club I really don’t want them in it as I don’t even like them and I’m trying to persuade him out of it.

  7. But didn't you care you were making everyone sit unconfortably just because you wanted to test the power of because?

  8. I think he secretly taught us a 7th since I think giving an example as proof is another way of saying here its not just smth I said it actually worked. thats what i think at least.

  9. The one about names is a risky one. Telemarketers and salesmen often overdo this ad nauseam, adding your name to every sentence. Because of that, I have this reflex formed that if a stranger to whom I didn't introduce myself uses my name, I perceive the communication as fake and manipulative, even if it isn't.

  10. Конченый тупой американский олень несёт чушь несусветную. Мозгов как у курицы по причине использования только английского тупого языка.

  11. If you enjoy personal development stuff read "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss. He is an ex-FBI hostage negotiator and it is an awesome read or listen. That book and How to win Friends and Influence People have changed my life.

  12. I saw your recommendation for the interview question a while ago and have used it since a few times… works wonderfully!!
    Not only do they imagine you in the job position as they are explaining what an excellent worker is, they are literally telling you what the essence of the job is. Thank you so much!

  13. The yes ladder is a bad idea and rarely works. Chris Voss wrote a book Never Split The Difference. A good place to find out why.

  14. At the end of a job interview which I felt hadn't gone too well, the interviewers asked the usual "are there any questions you would like to ask us?", I asked some general questions about the company and then said "based on the interview are there any reasons why you feel you wouldn't offer me this position?". After a little bit of shock on their part one of the interviewers said I was a little too critical of my current employer, I got some feed back and I was able to explain why I was so critical, I was offered the job… which I didn't take!

  15. He used his own concepts at the end to put notifications on, what genius cus it shows how it works and gets u to hit the bell

  16. Bet that self help seminar was the Landmark forum. Started by a former Scientologist, using their brainwashing techniques.

  17. Thank you so much this video was extremely helpful if it wasn't for your video I probably wouldn't have my violin now

  18. Try convincing your wife rather than the gatekeeper ! Have you ever made an exception ? Yes , you !
    Here's how I see the yes ladder working on your wife especially when you don't want to do the dishes .
    Shall we go out for dinner ? Yes
    Would you like to try this new place ? Yes
    Would you like a drink ? Yes , the chateau …. rothschild 1981
    You look at the price and go – oh no I'm sorry I tried the yes ladder !

  19. When you jump in, EVERYONE gives you their phone number, you perfect, flawless human specimen. (Great videos, thanks)

  20. If someone ever used read my nametag and asked me a friendly question using my name, my first thought was always, "How dare you use my slave name, I hate you."


  22. Your story with "because" might have persuaded your friend, because it probably made you seem serious or even desperate to sit on that couch. He might have thought that you had a bad day or something.

  23. "The Power of Because"… Compels You…Yes and Because this comment compelled me to remember the scariest movie
    ever, The Exorcist….Charisma on Command, I will remember this lesson and maybe as well as I remember every line in that movie
    Because Linda Blair knew how to Make A Killer First Impression.
    Great video content and Because you are a creative content producer, I Thank You.

  24. What was the personal development thing you took your brother too… And was there koolaid included

  25. Just the fact that you'd try to drag your brother into a 36 hr goddamn seminar tells me you're a professional charlatan.

  26. Brilliant video! "If I were in your position, I would feel the exact same way". That is a very powerful line that makes an individual feel heard and understood.

  27. serious question, do these have to be to the letter(in terms of word composition) or is it ok to be less formal in social situations?

  28. At the end of our argument, I ask her, a year from now, whether you married me or some other guy, how do you know if you’ve made the right choice? Phew, dodged that bullet.

  29. OMG… Please don't use the phrase in writing or spoken word "if i was in your position I would feel the same way." There is a better than 50% chance you will wind that person up if you are using it to address someone's negative feelings. There are likely many situations where it works. However, often one person is actually and obviously in a FAR better position. Alternatively, there is a perception or sensitivity to differences in positions. This ends up sounding SUPER condescending. I remember someone said it to me, and I struggled not to flip out and I've also watched others noticeably seething in anger when someone more successful and senior said it to them. I even wondered where they got the idea to say it. They are typically fairly empathetic. The point you're making is great, as relates to demonstrating empathy. But that particular phrase "if i were your in your position", as a means of resolving conflict or dealing with negative interactions, highlights the fact that you are not in their position (i.e. the negative place that started the conversation).

  30. Totally separately, I do love your videos and what you're trying to do. This is actually the first time I disagreed with your many videos of great advice.

  31. Notice how he just explained the "Because" thing, then turns around and uses it on us?…."and if you're already subscribed, check the notifications BECAUSE I REALISED, you tube isn't notifying everybody" ……. sneaky, sneaky.

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