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– Hi guys, welcome back to my channel. Today I have a bit of a TMI video for you, so if you’re squeamish, look away. But today I’m going to be sharing with you 10 things that nobody
told me about postpartum. I feel like as women we’re quite prepared for the labor and
delivery, but we’re maybe less prepared for what comes after that, and there is a lot that comes after that. So these are 10 things that I wish someone had told me before I gave birth. And obviously this is very
fresh in my mind, because I gave birth to our third son
Jackson just two weeks ago. This video is also in
collaboration with lights by TENA. They’re currently running a competition where you could win 50 pounds
worth of Love2shop vouchers every week, or one grand prize
of a weekend away for two, and 500 pounds in Selfridge’s vouchers. And all you have to do to
enter this competition, is visit their website noonetoldme.co.uk, and share your story, and it
could be anything that no one had told you before, like
you’ll still get spots when you’re older, or hot flashes,
or experience little leaks. So that brings me to my first
thing that no one told me about postpartum, and that
is that you could have a weak pelvic floor after you give birth. Now obviously you’ve been
walking around for nine months with a heavy baby inside you,
pushing down on that muscle, and then you have pushed them out of you. But even if you’ve had a cesarean, you could still experience weakness, so it’s so important that
you do your pelvic floor, or kegel muscle exercises
after you’ve given birth. So you may get a shock if you cough, or you sneeze or you lift something heavy, or you jump after you have given birth. You may experience some little leaks, but it doesn’t only happen to
pregnant or people that have just given birth, it could
happen to any women at any point. One in three women
suffer with little leaks. Next thing that no one
told me about was how bad the afterpains would be, and that they get worse the more children you have. So obviously I’ve just had my third baby, and the afterpains were so strong for me. The afterpain contractions
were almost worse than the ones that I experienced in labor. So I was taking Paracetamol for them, but every time I breastfeed my baby, I have really strong contractions, and it’s not only just in my
stomach, sometimes I feel it in my back, and in the
tops of my legs as well. They’re just really painful, and I did not realize that they were gonna be that bad. The next thing that no
one really talks about is how much bleeding you will
do after you’ve given birth. Now obviously when you’re
pregnant you have an extra 50 percent of blood
pumping through your body, which is why you can swell a bit. And obviously there has been
lots of blood and liquid, and everything around your
baby, so it all has to come out while your uterus is contracting back. And there can even be little blood clots, which is completely normal,
but so scary to see. So just don’t be shocked if there is loads of blood, and it
can last three weeks. Next thing that no one told me about was about engorged breasts. I completely forgot, and no
one ever told me about how when your milk comes in,
how big your breasts get, and they get really hard, and really sore. I promise they will calm
down after two or three days, but on the first day
when your milk comes in, they are just huge and
scary, and you’ll also be really hormonal, ’cause you
haven’t had enough hormones during your pregnancy,
so you might be a bit emotional as well, but
it’s completely normal. The fifth thing that no
one really talks about is how your belly is going to
look after you’ve given birth. You will still look six months pregnant, so be careful what you
pack in your hospital bag. And it can look a bit
like a deflated balloon. But don’t feel sad, it took nine months to grow your belly with that baby in it, so it can take some time to get it back. Your uterus has to shrink right back down, so don’t be disheartened. The sixth thing that may surprise you is postpartum hair loss. Obviously when you’re pregnant, you get beautiful hair
because it stops falling out. So obviously once the baby is out, your hair may start to come out, and I know for me it sort
of comes out in the shower. You will get regrowth, so don’t worry, but it is still a bit of a shocker. Seventh thing that no
one really talks about is the fear of going to to the
toilet after you have a baby. It can be really scary
when you need a number two after you’ve given birth,
because everything down there is quite sensitive, and also it’s
pretty scary to like, push. So there are some things you can take. You can take stool softeners,
or just be careful with what you eat in your diet,
but I was surprised how scary it was to go to the toilet
after you’ve had a baby. The next thing that surprised
me is that my stomach split. So what that means is the two muscles that run down my stomach, when I was pregnant my baby was so big that it
just split them in half. So when I had a postpartum
checkup with the midwife, she was very like, chilled about it. She was just like, you
know, your stomach is split, you’re gonna have to have physio
to bring it back together. You can bring it back together, but it will never obviously
be as small as it was before. Physio has really helped each time to bring my stomach muscles back together, but I didn’t realize that
that was something that could happen, and I didn’t realize that it’s actually quite a
common thing to happen. Next thing that no one really tells you is how hard breastfeeding can be. I feel like I am a natural breastfeeder, but it’s still really tricky. For the first few days,
they’re just getting colostrum, and my baby was being sick,
bright yellow colostrum which was a bit of a
shock to me ’cause I just didn’t realize that it wouldn’t be milk straight away in my first pregnancy. And also, sometimes you have to like, reshape your breasts to get it into your baby’s mouth, and
to get the latch correct. The whole thing about breastfeeding is that you need to latch to be correct. So it’s definitely worth
doing some research into what the latch looks
like, and you really want your baby to look like they are biting on your breast, rather than sucking. You want to see the
jaw movement like that. Breastfeeding to me, seems like it’s just such a natural thing, and I
guess when I had my first baby I was surprised at how hard it can be, and how you actually have to really persevere with it if you
want it to be successful. Next thing that no one told
me about is that giving birth on your back may not be
the best way to give birth. When I had my first baby,
I just laid down on the bed because they told me to,
because then they have the best view of the
baby’s head, et cetera. But because I gave birth
on my back, my tailbone, or coccyx as it’s known,
broke as he came through. So it actually cracked, they
did an x-ray to confirm it. Whereas if id given birth on all fours, that never would have happened. So my two subsequent
births, I’ve given birth on all fours, and I’ve not had a problem. All right, thank you so much for watching. I hope you liked this video, and it was insightful,
and not too gross for you. Thank you so much for watching. Don’t forget to subscribe for more videos, and I will see you soon. Bye! (soft music)


  1. I know this is an older video, but I feel that it is important to say something about the endless advice to do Kegels. Only do this if your doctor and/or physical therapist recommend them! I have suffered from pelvic pains, and my pt found out that my pelvic floor muscles are too tight. She told me not to do Kegels at all, as these might make the problem even worse! After giving birth, I have to give my body some rest, see how it all feels, and then check in with her for further evaluation.

    Kegels are not the be all and end all of pelvic floor exercises. In some cases it is more important to try and relax the muscles instead! Get a proper assessment done by a pelvic floor physical therapist, before accidentally making any problems worse!

  2. Totally agree, I prepared for l&d, but didn't think about post partum except that the baby would be there. How about if you need stitches there's a chance (and nothing can be done to prevent it) that you will overheal. I just had surgery for it and it has been awful. Our baby's worth it, but it's been rough

  3. One thing noone told me- you get hot flashes and/or will always feel hot after having a kid.
    Oh my, my mom always says I have menopauses already and im only 19! 😂😂

    P.s. Love your videos Emily. ❤️❤️❤️

  4. I have never been pregnant before but hope to be one day soon and I feel more educated and prepared for what could come. Thanks so much for sharing x

  5. I’ve just had my first baby and I gave birth on my back I was so scared about giving birth in general I was told I was going to have an epidural I was induced cos I had obstetric cholestasis they didn’t end up giving me the epidural cos it was too late I survived on gas and air and the labour wasn’t as painful as I thought it was gonna be labour pains were actually very bearable the most painful part was his head coming out but I’m not sure I would have survived on all for cos being on my back helped me push harder but I guess everyone is different. I also got a stomach infection after giving birth so going toilet was not a problem for me at all 😂 in fact I did not get off the toilet for 7 days and said to my partner I’d rather give birth again than go through that lol

  6. Okay, TMI alert. My first #2 took 40 mins! It was huge and scary also I had an episiotomy as baby was B2B and I was scared my stitches would burst, they didn't but I pushed as hard as I did in labour. Also no one really tells you what a commitment breastfeeding is. It took me 2 to 3 weeks to really get to grips with it and that was after some very sore nipples but i persevered and happy to report all is good 1 month on. Also how hot you are because your body is producing milk. I feel like a furnace mostly. Also cluster feeding was a huge and probably the biggest shock especially as I'm breastfeeding. Literally can be sitting for hrs swapping baby between breasts and it is exhausting, baby has what seems like constant growth spurts. However all of these are hugely paid off when they start interacting with you as a result of improved eye sight and their personalities develop, just magical. Also nothing is permanent so know the challenging parts are not forever but savour the good. Trust your instincts and baby is very smart, they learn very quickly. The world is a shock to them, new smells, experiences so they're adapting just like you.

  7. I had periurethral tear (tear where you pee) so peeing hurt more than pooping. I was taking stool softeners so that helped it fall out lol but peeing burned and still sometimes burns almost 5 weeks pp. No one told me you can tear up and not just down.

  8. Thanks for the video. I would recommend to every woman that they invest in a yoni egg as it helps you to connect with your vagina in a very positive way. (Yoni is Sanskrit for your womb, it also means sacred temple). It also helps with building your muscles inside. It takes a lot of the fear out of childbirth. You become more in touch with what is best for your yoni and it's a beautiful way to build a positive relationship with this wonderful part of female anatomy. Love the skin you are in <3

  9. I wish I had seen this vid before I give birth to my baby. The hair lose and the blood (it was 43 days for me) .. oh my.. I just wasn't prepared for that! Plus the hurt nipples for a whole month -nightmare. Tho I'm so happy I didn't give up!

  10. I’m watching this with my 3 day old baby in my arms. He’s number 4 & I get the worst stomach cramping when I’m nursing. Yes I have a 6 month pregnant belly still but I know this is normal so trying not to get hung up on it as I was back in my jeans after 3 days with my 3rd. My boobs hurt from feeding as well. The glamour of having babies lol thanks for the video it’s stuff every mum needs to know.

  11. Hi Emily! I'm 17 weeks and your videos are really helpful in helping me prepare for baby! Im curious to know, when you gave birth on all fours, did you have an epidural?

  12. This is great. Finally someone is putting out there what happens afterwards! I feel to know and prepare your mind for it is so much better than struggling or being stressed about it all especially since learning how to be a Mamma is hard enough for the first time!

  13. 3 weeks of bleeding?! You must be one of those woman who only gets a period for 3-5 days lol! I bled 9 weeks post birth with each baby it is rough!

  14. Hello! Great video. I just gave birth 3 days ago and it was very traumatic. My tailbone also broke, I believe. There was a loud crack when I was pushing, and it hurts so badly now. You mentioned having an X-ray. What did they do for your tailbone after? My Dr disappeared after sewing me up and never said anything about it.

  15. That a lot of TMI even for me!😏I don’t know if I want to have a child anymore!stomach split in half🙄?geez👀

  16. I knew it. I knew it! I have been saying to my doctors that I want gravity to help me in labor and I don't want to "flat back " it. The birthing bar wasn't enough and I wonder if a birthing chair is what's needed. I am so sad this happened but so happy to confirm that it's possible.

  17. Found your channel yesterday and been binge watching your videos ! We’re expecting our first one later this year and finding your tips very helpful – thank you !

  18. Incase anyone doesn't know, you can take tramadol and ibuprofen if you have really bad after pains… And STILL breastfeed. It's just the opiates like Co codamol and codeine you can't ☺️

  19. As far as #10, you can also give birth on your side. This is especially important if you're mobility is impaired (eg epidural, exhaustion, injury {my personal favourite giving birth within 48 hours of a partial hip dislocation}). Also, these vary for everyone. I had slight PF issues after baby #3 but not #4. I also didn't bleed like crazy. For those who are concerned, the adult sposies are apparently amazing.

  20. I love that you did this video. My husband and I will start trying for a baby next year so I’ve been watching a lot of these videos and no one talks about it. They say “yeah, it’s hard but it’s worth it to have a healthy baby”… well, of course. But I want to know what I can expect for me. That’s also important. Or they don’t show/talk about the scary/hard moments and make it look like it was some glamorous experience. I’m also so surprised reading through the comments that not knowing these things is so common. I would think your doctors would tell you when you’re pregnant/after delivery. That baffles me. But I so appreciate you doing this. I never would have known about not lying on your back. That’s the main way it’s depicted. So, thank you!!!

  21. Same case here Emily, Some people did not tell me what to expect after I bring the baby home. But I am thankful for Bio tex clinic they had already prepared me well for the journey. Your tips are so important, I literally was in your shoe too. But perhaps I can also share some other tips. Taking home a new baby is one of the happiest times in a woman's life. But it also presents both physical and emotional challenges. Get as much rest as possible. You may find that all you can do is eat, sleep, and care for your baby. And that is perfectly okay. You will have spotting or bleeding, like a menstrual period, off and on for up to six weeks. You might also have swelling in your legs and feet, feel constipated, have menstrual-like cramping. Even if you are not breastfeeding, you can have milk leaking from your nipples, and your breasts might feel full, tender, or uncomfortable. Follow your doctor's instructions on how much activity, like climbing stairs or walking, you can do for the next few weeks. Doctors usually recommend that you abstain from sexual intercourse for four to six weeks after birth.

  22. I have had 4 children and I have never been told about tail breaking or stomach splitting. I did have postnatal depression after having 2 of my children which was really awful. Sorry its a late text but i have only just saw your video. Xx

  23. I’m a few days overdue and could drop at any point with baby number one, and NO ONE has ever mentioned contraction-like after pains 😨 the other stuff I’ve heard thrown around now and then but no one has mentioned after pains to me 😭 all part of the next stage of the journey I suppose 😅😅😅

  24. Thank you for sharing! Trying to support my wife as she prepares to give birth, and this is definitely helpful to know some of the challenges post-partum. Maybe there will be a future video talking about what dads can do to support the mom during this time :).

  25. I just had my first baby and all of these are correct. These videos make feel like I'm not crazy. Thank You!

  26. Pelvic floor weakness is COMMON but NOT NORMAL. We shouldn't really have the need of a pad for leaks. You should look for a pelvic floor physiotherapeut. It's not enough to do the Kegels on your own coz you might be doing them wrong (I was, for 7 years). You can buy an Epi-no or other medical tools to monitor you're doing your pelvic contractions right, but the first times it's best to do them with a professional. Also, to prevent diastasis recti (splitting of stomach muscles in postpartum) you should do pré natal physiotherapy and pilates to reinforce your core. I'm doing all these treatments in a remote Brazilian capital, I guess they must be available in the UK too! These should be done both in prenatal and postnatal. For sure you can get the Epi-no online much cheaper than I got it down here.

  27. I’m pregnant , I just found out the other. My boyfriend cleans abestos out of buildings & I will work at menards and attend dental assistant academy of Chicago for 11 wks , after that I’m going to Chicago state University ❤️ I’m 19 he’s 18 vloggin soon subscribe thank you

  28. 1. Pelvic floor weakness
    2. Afterpain
    3. Bleeding (can last 3 weeks)
    4. Engorged breast + hormonal
    5. Your bellu still looks like 6m pregnant
    6. Postpartum hairloss
    7. Fear to go to toilet
    8. Your stomach split
    9. Breastfeeding is hard
    10. Don't givebirth on your back

  29. So true top 10! I gave birth recently and had to pass thru all in ur list.. OMG someone really should've tell me all of them before pregnancy 😑
    First 5 days were the worst. Next 7 days I had to deal morally and it was test period of my physical abilities. Afterwards I realized how blessed I'm to feel healthy without pain in my body.🤗
    And my beautiful girl is my recovery power😄

  30. I'm not pregnant, I've had 6 miscarriages. I don't think I will ever get pregnant and carry to full term. But reading the comments I'm so so so sorry ladies this sounds awful!!

  31. Hi Emily, I am very very curious to know if you experienced wider hips postpartum? Also, did your rib cage change/ expand? I would be VERY indebted if you answered this. Thanks!

  32. No one ever talks about how detrimental being on your back during labor is!! It actually closes off the birth canal by up to 30%! I hear of so many women saying their baby got "stuck" and it became a life threatening situation. Give birth squatting or on all fours! If your OB/hospital doesn't allow it, go to a different hospital or birthing center!

  33. I'm expecting and came across your videos. I just wanted to let you know that they've been so helpful. Very straightforward, well said, and great information. Thank you for putting the content out. 🙂

  34. With my 3rd I went natural and leaned over the bed post the cord was so short I could only do 1 minuet if delayed clamping and my recovery is rough this time too but she sleeps a lot so I get more rest and I just couldn’t get the latch so I’m strictly pumping

  35. I know it’s a really childish thing to say but females are constantly in pain. Expectations from society, monthly periods, carrying a baby, contractions, giving birth and postpartum.

  36. Thanks! I'm due in january with my first. And even though it's scary, it makes me feel a bit better that you have had 3 babies so far knowing what it's like 😅😅 👍🏻👍🏻

  37. Is there any at home self care routine for PPD for new moms that works? I am 35 week pregnant. With first one i definitely had mild PPD but i never discussed with doc. This time i just want to stay prepared. Specially if there are any herbs/teas that cam help…

  38. Thank you for telling us about your tail bone. Iv had surgery on mine and expecting our first in Aug. It's been a concern of mine… so its nice to know the regardless of history it can effect that spot. I'll be able to plan around it now…

  39. The after pains with baby 3…ugh! Nobody told me this either. I don't know how people have more kids after this. Lol

  40. Omg! You really experienced the rougher side of the spectrum in labor… with your coccyx and stomach muscles. Thank you so much for being open about everything! This was super informative. xo

  41. After giving birth naturally.. You can get a tummy band. Post giving birth.. Wear it 6 weeks . Your tummy will contract back with breastfeeding. But this helps your uterus to go back.

  42. My God!! Your stomach split? Your tailbone broke? You had so much painful contractions AFTER giving birth? Now I'm even more scared than before. GOD I really wish you are an exception to the rule.

  43. breast feeding i really had a tough time… would like to know your tips of breastfeeind with no nipple or less.. I was having a night mare

  44. I know this old but the other thing no one told me was depression especially when u are first mom and don’t know anything in the world of motherhood

  45. got really really bad tears nd a hematoma in my first delivery bcz I went 4 an epidural so couldn't feel the pain nd urge to push… I'm 3 months pregnant with my second baby… really worried abt tears this time… should I get epidural this time ??? Will I b getting tears again?? Is it necessary to get tears againnn once u get them???

  46. I know this is an old video, but it’s so real! I’m lucky to have had an amazing prenatal nurse who went over many of the things mentioned in the video.. still there’s always something we won’t know about until it happens. One of the things I wish I had known is how painful your first bathroom trips will be!

  47. Always love your videos…especially because you edit them so well. You get straight to the point, no waffle, they are so easy to watch and ref back to.

  48. Honestly we were never taught about important stuff like this in Biologie
    2 Months ago I just knew about Labour and delivery and thought everything would be as usual after birth

  49. I will share this with my friends that are having babies for first time because it is all sooooo true !!! Now I know , but before nobody tells you 😳🙄 thanks a lot !!!

  50. Hi Emily for the 5th point – how long does it takes for the tummy to go back to original shape.. my baby is 8 months now & i still look pregnant.. 🙁

  51. I got allergy on my post-partum. It was caused by hormonal imbalance because I breastfed. About a month after I stopped breastfed my baby, the allergy gone. Nobody ever told me about that..

  52. Got a 3rd degree tear birthing on my back doc had to use forceps and a vacuum to get my 8 pound boy out. I had the worst hemorrhoids after the hospital I was in tears from the pain trying to push through a bowl movement with all the stitches. Praying delivery and postpartum care will be different this time around.

  53. Thank you for sharing these 👍 I gave birth 3 weeks ago and I've since been noticing alot of tenderness and like a dull feeling at the bottom of my tailbone esp when I sit down or get up, makes me wonder if I damaged mine while delivering as I was laying completely flat at that point

  54. I had a bad tear due to hospital negligence so no one told me how difficult it would be to sit and stand up postpartum. I can’t even laugh without feeling the stitches 🥴

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